Category: Random

Random, Series

Day 3 – New

Michelle

If you’re here for the third day this month, I applaud you! I thank you! And I graciously ask that you return daily during the month of October…I ask that you return to see how this month carries out and how I can grow as a writer during this 31 day challenge.

Today’s topic is: New.

I’m struggling with this new blog post. I am not typically one to schedule my posts ahead of time. I generally write a blog post when I’m feeling inspired or when I feel I have something particularly witty or important to share with you fine people.

I can say this…I can say that I’m going through a season in my life right now. And it’s a season that’s completely new and foreign to me.

On a daily basis, I’m questioning what I’m here for. Is what I’m doing making a difference? Am I making a difference in the lives of those around me?

Am I saying the right things and doing the right things to leave a lasting impression on those I love?

Am I demonstrating ways to be brave to my children? Am I showing Christ’s love toward others?

In this season, my thoughts keep coming back to…when will waiting for the one finally be…done?

That one job, that one financial shift, that partner or spouse you’re waiting for…

His Word, Random, Series

Day 1 – Move

Michelle

So, here we are, on October 1. The first day of the ‘five minute free writes’ writing challenge. Today’s prompt is: move.

Move. I’ve heard it said that if you can’t sense God’s presence in your life, you can be assured that He is not the one who has moved; you have.

Try as I might, I can’t understand why anyone would move away from God. Yet, we do it everyday in the choices we make. In the small choices and the big ones.

It’s the same in any relationship. If you’re not consciously moving TOWARD someone, you’re moving away from them. I suppose that we are always constantly moving. Either toward someone or away from someone.

It’s all up to you which way you chose to move.

I know that I want to be consciously moving toward those people who love me and want what’s best for me. This includes God.

I want to draw nearer to those who cherish me and our relationship. Those who also have a desire to move toward me. Those who can take one look at the worn expression on my face or hear my exasperated voice on the other end of the line and know that I need a hug. Or some positive words of encouragement.

These are the people that I need to surround myself with. This includes God. He knows all and sees all.

And I have to remember these words…

image

Until tomorrow for day #2…blessings to you in His name.

 

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Random, Soul Relationships

Still…

Michelle

There is something about this time of year that makes me want to pull back – to retract into myself and reflect. Be introspective. Become like a bear and begin my preparations to hunker down and hibernate for the winter season.

It’s seasons like this in which I begin to analyze my relationships – with everyone from God to my kids.

I look at the activities I’m involved in and those my kids are involved in. I reflect on what I’ve accomplished this year, and what, if anything still needs completed.

So far:

  • I’ve read 16 books of my goal of 24 for the year.
  • I had a HUGE purging/organizing session in July. My home feels better and I feel a *little* more organized.
  • I still have my daughter’s closet to purge/organize {let’s be real, this may wait until she’s out of the house!}
  • I still need to get a blogging schedule established.
  • I still need to follow said schedule.
  • I’ve completed, I dunno, somewhere between 4-6 Hello Mornings bible studies.
  • I still need to finish my Bible in a Year plan. {I’m about 5 months behind on that one!}
  • I still need to learn to lean into His grace and accept when I can’t mark things off of my ‘To Do’ list.
  • My kids are in AWESOME classes this school year.
  • Elijah is crazy improving in baseball this year, due to an amazing coach!
  • Emma actually decided to give softball a chance, and she’s not half bad! {which is a total shock to my system!}

But the biggest thing that I have yet to cross off my ever growing task list can be found in one of my favorite Bible verses…Psalm 46:10a, “Be still and know that I am God.”

My absolute favorite version of this verse is in the NASB version. It reads:

“Cease striving and know that I am God.”

Cease striving…REALLY?

Dictionary.com defines cease this way: “to stop; discontinue.”

Dictionary.com defines striving this way: “to exert oneself vigorously; try hard.”

So, basically what I’m telling you is that I can’t. stop. trying. hard.

I can’t stop exerting myself…to please others…to accomplish more…to be more involved…to cross things off of my list.

To just BE STILL

I am Type A all the way.

This is something that God will need to do a miraculous work within me to accomplish. But He is faithful. He is good. He is just. He is love.

And thankfully, He will accept me just the way I am. But, by His grace, He loves me too much to leave me that way.

So, as I enter into this season of my life, of this year, please pray with me that He will continue to do a good work in me. That I will learn to lean into His grace. Into His rest.

Jesus tells us we can, “come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” {Matthew 11:28-30}.

And that I can just be. still.

His Word, Random

real…i mean really real

Michelle

ok folks, i have to be honest here.

smile

i have to be transparent and open and vulnerable. because being closed off and putting up a facade is doing nothing for me.

i’m hurting.

i’m broken into a million little pieces.

there are days where i get up and go through the same routine…let the dogs out, make the coffee, let the dogs in, empty the dishwasher, fix lunches, shower, get ready, fight to get the kids up, fight to get the kids to choose something for breakfast, fight to get the kids to EAT breakfast, fight to get the kids to remember their morning routine…you know, the one they do. every. single. morning. and yet, can’t remember to put shoes and socks on…

drop the kids off

go to work

come home from work

fight with kids to do their homework

fight to get the kids to eat a healthy dinner

shuttle said kids to and from practices

put kids in the shower

send kids off to bed

wonder what in the world did i get accomplished today

what difference did i make today

whose life did i touch today

oh, now it’s time to go to bed and do it all over again tomorrow

am i alone here?

am i floating about – alone – in this abyss of routine and schedules and permission slips and dinners and – oh what’s it all for?!

i’ve lost my joy.

i feel i’m missing something. i’m missing out on something…but what? i know what i *think* i’m missing…but am i truly?

it’s grey in my world right now.

ever feel this way? like sometimes, you just need someone to come alongside you, grab your hand, and say that everything will be ok? yeah…me too…

strong person

in an attempt to pull myself out of this ‘funk,’ i decided to look at Ann Voskamp’s Joy Dare for September. today’s dare is to find 3 gifts yellow.

i stopped at 2.

i. can’t. find. a. third. yellow. gift.

some days i wonder and ponder and question what the point of it all is.

am i enough for this life? am i good enough. strong enough. smart enough. determined enough.

do i have enough perseverance to make it through this ‘rough patch?’

{sigh} i suppose this too, shall pass…you know what they say, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger…damn, i’m gonna be one strong person when i come out on the other side of this.

storm

and when i do, i know, i mean i really *KNOW* that my purpose will be to share this experience…this time of parched soul-dryness…this season of drought…this time in my life that is lacking color

i know that he is calling me to more…to a higher place of praise…to praise him in this mess…or in the hallway, as i wait for him to open the door…

hallway

and so, dear readers, if i could ask one favor of you – please pray for me. that is the most powerful thing we, as believers, can do. pray for my strength. pray for my peace of mind, body, soul. pray for me to find joy in the small. and pray that i would praise him…in the storm…in the hallway…in the mess that will become his message…

Random, Series

Reach

Michelle

I’ve been pondering this…how do you reach someone?

How do you reach into the recesses of their heart to know them? To know their hopes, dreams, desires? To know their greatest fears?

How do you reach them and touch their heart?

Is it in the things you do for them? Is it in the things they do for you?

Is it in the conversations long after the sun has set and the day is winding down?

Is it in the moments you share with them? Those moments that would not be what they are, if they were shared with anyone else.

Is it in the way you look at them? Full of longing… Or is it in the way they look at you? With the little sideways smile…

And lets suppose there is something that has touched their heart…that has moved them from just an acquaintance to a friend or more. Wouldn’t you hope that they would share that with you?  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they told you what it was that you did or said that reached their heart? That touched them in such a way to make a lasting impression?

And do you wait for the acknowledgment that you’ve touched their heart? Or do you just keep plodding along? Doing what you’ve always done. Saying what you’ve always said. Loving the way you’ve always loved…