Willing

Originally published as part of #fiveminutefriday on March 7, 2014

Today’s Five Minute Friday topic is willing…so here goes, 5 minutes straight of writing, no questioning, no second guessing, no stopping and reading…

Willing – am I willing to do all of the things I need to do to be effective and good as a person and especially as a mother? Am I willing to be changed and molded into what Jesus has for me?

One thing that sticks out in my mind is the phrase, “Who you are at home is who you are.” Well, I can honestly say that I don’t like that person from the past few days. Two nights ago, my children were being their creative selves. Elijah was working on his Pinewood Derby car and Emma wanted to paint as well, so I found a little wooden crate for her to paint.

Now, let me tell you that Emma has expressed an interest in art. Me? Not so much; sure, I can appreciate art, but I am not creatively inclined. So, as she is painting and being creative, she gets excited about some paint brushes I found. After she pulls out the one she wants, she puts the case down…right in the paint…oh BOY was I frustrated!

So, naturally, I expressed my frustration in exasperated sighs…which she saw and heard. And then, when she got up, I noticed a blob of green paint right where she was painting…again, exasperated sighs…which she saw and heard.

Now, fortunately (for me AND her) this was as bad as it got. There was no yelling, no temper tantrums (from the momma)…just exasperated sighs.

I felt God convicting me…so, the following morning, I apologized to her. I apologized for making her feel as though her mistakes were the end of the world. For making her feel as though she’s not ALLOWED to make mistakes (never mind the fact that I make about a gazillion of them DAILY – that’s another topic for another day). I apologized for stifling her creativity by making her feel that her work space had to be perfect. I even shared with her that it was so easy to wipe up, since the paint was still wet. And even if it hadn’t been, it was WATER-BASED PAINT!

And then I gushed about how incredibly awesome her creation is. I told her that I wanted to start seeds in it…and put it on display for all of the world to see. And I shared with her that I love her creativity and how I wish I had some of it!

Then I began to think about the phrase “Who you are at home is who you are.” I don’t want to be the one who is so bent on the rules and things being ‘just so’ that my kids can’t express themselves.

So, today, I’m going to be a little more WILLING to bend. A little more WILLING to just let. things. go. A little more WILLING to focus on the relationship and a little less focused on the rules. Because that’s who I want to be…at home and in the world.

What about you? What areas do you feel the Lord calling you to be more willing in? I’d love to hear your thoughts!