There is something about this time of year that makes me want to pull back – to retract into myself and reflect. Be introspective. Become like a bear and begin my preparations to hunker down and hibernate for the winter season.
It’s seasons like this in which I begin to analyze my relationships – with everyone from God to my kids.
I look at the activities I’m involved in and those my kids are involved in. I reflect on what I’ve accomplished this year, and what, if anything still needs completed.
So far:
- I’ve read 16 books of my goal of 24 for the year.
- I had a HUGE purging/organizing session in July. My home feels better and I feel a *little* more organized.
- I still have my daughter’s closet to purge/organize {let’s be real, this may wait until she’s out of the house!}
- I still need to get a blogging schedule established.
- I still need to follow said schedule.
- I’ve completed, I dunno, somewhere between 4-6 Hello Mornings bible studies.
- I still need to finish my Bible in a Year plan. {I’m about 5 months behind on that one!}
- I still need to learn to lean into His grace and accept when I can’t mark things off of my ‘To Do’ list.
- My kids are in AWESOME classes this school year.
- Elijah is crazy improving in baseball this year, due to an amazing coach!
- Emma actually decided to give softball a chance, and she’s not half bad! {which is a total shock to my system!}
But the biggest thing that I have yet to cross off my ever growing task list can be found in one of my favorite Bible verses…Psalm 46:10a, “Be still and know that I am God.”
My absolute favorite version of this verse is in the NASB version. It reads:
“Cease striving and know that I am God.”
Cease striving…REALLY?
Dictionary.com defines cease this way: “to stop; discontinue.”
Dictionary.com defines striving this way: “to exert oneself vigorously; try hard.”
So, basically what I’m telling you is that I can’t. stop. trying. hard.
I can’t stop exerting myself…to please others…to accomplish more…to be more involved…to cross things off of my list.
To just BE STILL
I am Type A all the way.
This is something that God will need to do a miraculous work within me to accomplish. But He is faithful. He is good. He is just. He is love.
And thankfully, He will accept me just the way I am. But, by His grace, He loves me too much to leave me that way.
So, as I enter into this season of my life, of this year, please pray with me that He will continue to do a good work in me. That I will learn to lean into His grace. Into His rest.
Jesus tells us we can, “come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” {Matthew 11:28-30}.
And that I can just be. still.
