Soul Relationships

How I Will Know

my dear, i’ve wondered for some time how i will know when i meet ‘the one.’

i’ve asked the question of others. i’ve pondered answers to my own inquiring mind. many have said that i would just know.

for a long time, i felt that was their cookie-cutter response to someone who just didn’t know a thing about true love…

someone who has yet to see a healthy relationship in action…

someone who has divorce and infidelity running through the roots of her family tree…

someone whose heart has been broken more times than can be counted…

someone who has become jaded and cynical and questions what love truly looks like…

someone who desperately wants to believe in the fairy tale, but really can’t afford to waste hopes and dreams on such foolishness…

well, my love, i’ve learned a thing or two in the past few months

i’ll know i’ve found the one when he provides a listening ear – and offers well-thought out advice…advice he himself would follow

i’ll know i’ve found the one when he mows my yard for me – and not just once…because he knows that my time with my kids is limited and precious..and because he wants to do something nice for me

i’ll know i’ve found the one when the texts which read, ‘good morning beautiful’ and ‘good night’ come without fail. every. single. day.

i’ll know i’ve found the one when doors are opened for me – and my daughter…and not because we are incapable, but because he wants to show respect and admiration and manners and chivalry. and it is so important for my daughter to see this side of a man. {sidenote, for all of the cynics out there, i truly thought chivalry was dead. turns out i was wrong.}

i’ll know i’ve found the one when nearly every song on the radio has a deeper meaning and prompts a memory – whether it’s a shared experience or a shared dream

i’ll know i’ve found the one when we have more inside jokes than not {and this drives other people CRAZY}

i’ll know i’ve found the one when he leaves me unexpected cards or notes around the house. just because.

i’ll know i’ve found the one when there is an appreciation for all you do for them – and it doesn’t feel like you do anything significant

i’ll know i’ve found the one when there is a strong hand holding mine telling me daily that he’s there – he’s not going anywhere – and he will fight for me. for those are words that have never before left lips and fallen on these ears. and ladies, trust me when i say that these are the sweetest words that you will ever hear uttered from a man’s lips.

you see, my love, these are just a few of the ways that i’ll know i’ve found the one in whom my heart trusts completely. and with that trust comes a lifetime of respect, devotion, and love.

and i know i’ve found the one

Book Reviews, His Word

Wild in the Hollow – Book Review

Recently, I was given the opportunity to read and review an author’s debut novel. Amber C. Haines has given us a true gift in her memoir entitled, “Wild in the Hollow.” This is Amber’s story of how she came to know a God who relentlessly pursues each one of us.

Amber’s story begins much the same way mine does – in a quest for happiness in the midst of brokenness, in the arms of one ‘love’ after another, in the bottom of a bottle. Her story is my story. Her brokenness calls to me. Her raw honesty haunts me and endears me to her at the same time.

Hers is a story of salvation and repentance and redemption. Hers is a story we can all relate to. With our busted self-esteem, mutilated hearts, severed family ties, broken society, we can all use the refreshing realness of a story that shows how God meets us in our shattered lives. He never stops loving us. He unceasingly demonstrates his desire that we would all be reconciled to His Father’s heart for each of us.

Amber’s transgression haunted me. And then her confession freed me.

Her words reached places of me that I had long forgotten about.

I cannot remember the last time a story moved me the way this story has. I laughed and I wept and I smiled and I hurt and I found myself praying right along with Amber.

Her story reminds me that, when it seems there is nothing to hope for, there is still good in the world. There are still pockets of community in the world reminiscent of days gone by. There are still friends that mimic family – His word tells us in Proverbs that, “Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.”

In Chapter 12, Amber shares her struggle of control. This is one area that is a challenge for me as well. In this chapter, she says, “Self-control is a rest in him and his way, and all other striving is an illusion of control that divided me in three, mind from body and soul. Dropping the illusion propelled me toward healing.” God is still working within me in this area. There have been more times than I would like to recall, in which God has had to pry my fingers away from a situation in order for Him to do His good work. Thankfully, I am learning to let go.

Amber’s words are like a breath of fresh air; like waves on the ocean, rumbling and tumbling the water; like a breeze rustling the leaves of the trees. Amber’s words will stay with me long after I write this review. This will be a book I return to from time to time. If nothing else, to be reminded that I’m not alone on this messy, broken, beautiful journey home to His loving arms.

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Soul Relationships

Time

You know the old saying, “The days are long, but the years are short?” Yeah, it’s totally true.

Time…there have been books and blog posts written about it, movies made about it, podcasts recorded about it, cards dedicated to it…and yet here we are, talking about it again today.

I’m not sure that I have any aspects that give me qualifications to write about time, other than I’ve seen the passage of it.

Time Passing

This morning, my daughter and I were able to get some time just the two of us. We decided to curl up on the couch and do some reading. We are both avid readers and love the manner in which we can be reading together, but absorbed in our own books.

She is on her third reading of Ruby Holler. I’m told it’s a great book. I can’t seem to get away from my own books to delve into things my kids like to read. I’m in the middle of Flash by Rachel Anne Ridge. It’s a memoir about a donkey named Flash who appeared out of nowhere and turned their lives upside down. It’s quite remarkable.

What took me by complete surprise this morning was my reaction to her chapter on Beau, their lovable Yellow Lab. He was aging and she was discovering that there were many Last Times that were occurring right under her nose.

This got me thinking about the precious soul next to mine. See, she’s nine, soon to be 10. In two short months, she will be in double digits and only eight short years away from 18 and being an ‘adult’ in the eyes of the world. Soon, she will begin middle school. That time of life in which friends become more important than family and my opinion in her life will diminish.

She’s growing up so fast – physically and emotionally. We measured her height the other day as we were leaving CVS. Weirdest thing…as you leave CVS, there is a ruler of sorts, taped between the doors. Hmm… Anyway, she stood next to it and she’s like 5′ tall! Say what?!?!?

Of course her physical changes are nothing compared to the emotional changes taking place within her. She is beginning to understand the world around her in a way I can no longer protect her from. She’s formulating her own opinions and thoughts about how the world operates.

All of this is happening right under my nose and my head is spinning.

See, I had these grandiose plans for parenting. For being the best mom I could be. The mom who has fresh baked cookies for her kids when they get home from school. The mom who NEVER loses her cool about anything. The mom who always wants to play with her kids. The mom who always has all of the laundry done and always puts a nutritious, home-cooked meal on the table every night. The mom who taxis and shuttles her kids from one activity to the other, while singing worship music on the way.

In reality, it looks more like this: they grab a pre-packaged, processed snack from the cabinet when they get home from school…I lose my cool about HOW UNBELIEVABLY SLOW THEY ARE IN THE MORNINGS…sometimes I just don’t want to engage with my kids – yep, there I said it – there are times I would rather zone out on Pinterest, pretending to be the Mom of the Year than engage in activity with my kids…I have loads of laundry sitting around – some that need folded and put away, some that need washed…oh, and about that nutritious, home-cooked meal? Um, last night, Emma and I ate grilled cheese sandwiches and chips – yep, sure did…and do I shuttle and taxi my kids to their activities? Of course I do, but more often than not, I’m trying to find some semblance of peace to maintain my sanity. Sometimes that is in worship music, sometimes, it’s wishing I could play some Metallica without scarring their ears and brains.

This is happening folks…this is real, day-to-day life happening all around us. All the while, I’m scratching my head, whist it is spinning, wondering, when do I have time to do the REAL parenting? You know, teaching them all they need to know to hack it in the real world.

But you see, those lessons ARE being taught. My kids know that I love them by the way I care for them. The way I cook for them, and do their laundry, and help them pick up their rooms, and take them to activities they are interested in. I’m showing them that love equals care. When you love someone, you care for them.

I’m showing them how to roll up your sleeves and dig in and get it done, even when you don’t want to. All of those loads of laundry? Yep, they help too…even though they don’t want to, they know it needs done. Even better, they know when we pitch in and do it as a TEAM, it gets done that much quicker. And then there’s more time for FUN!

The worship music? Yep, it comes when the kids know I’m about to lose my shit over socks that are inside out. THAT’S when I begin singing my praises to Jesus for giving me these two blessings, without which, I wouldn’t have a full laundry basket or a full heart. It’s offering your gratitude, even when you don’t FEEL like it…because you know, you just KNOW deep down, that He is good.

So, this post started out about time…and how time is simply passing us by. We have to grab hold of that minute hand by living in the moment…capturing the scene in our mind.

Recently, I caught someone studying me while I was going about a simple, mundane, everyday task. When I turned to ask what they were doing, their reply was, “making a memory.”

Which leads me to my new favorite song…History in the Making by Darius Rucker. You should check out the YouTube video here. While it is about a couple, I think you could certainly apply the meaning to many situations in life.

Random, Soul Relationships

Dreaming…

The smell of coffee brewed by you even though you don’t drink it…just for me.

The cool, crisp, evening autumn air we enjoy on your patio.

The sounds of our silly girls laughing.

Your hand to hold late at night.

Watching you help him on the many 4-H projects to come.

The cookouts in your backyard.

The early morning sunrises enjoyed together.

Lounging on the couch together…reading or watching the latest DIY shows.

The country concerts in the dead of summer.

Sledding and snow men with all of the kids.

Shared meals around a table.

Late night pillow talks.

Early morning pillow talks.

Dreaming, laughing, loving…together.

Book Reviews, Kids/Parenting

Books for Kids!

As many of you know, one of the things I love to do is read and review books for you all. Recently though, I was overjoyed because my kids were granted the opportunity to read and review their own books.

So, this is for all of the kids out there.

Rob Elliott and Revell Publishing have brought us yet another great joke book for kids. There are two editions: Laugh-Out-Loud Pocket Doodles for Boys and Laugh-Out-Loud Pocket Doodles for Girls.

LOL for Boys LOL for Girls

My kids have gotten accustomed to me receiving books in the mail to read and review. So, when a package came with books in it for them, they were beyond excited.

From the moment they tore open the envelope more than a month ago, to as recently as this past weekend, my two have LOVED these books. They have accompanied us on van trips to summer camp, to the grocery store, and they’ve even just sat on the couch together, sharing jokes and making memories.

Each page features a joke, the beginning of an illustration that goes along with the joke, and suggestions on how to finish the illustration. The jokes are clean and in good humor. I had no worries about the content of the jokes and I was perfectly fine with just handing the books over to the kids and letting them go on their merry way.

The best {and worst} thing about these books is that after the 3rd day of the kids reading them to me, I was ready to take them away! 🙂  I had had enough jokes! BUT, I didn’t do it. I let them continue to ask me, “Mom, what’s the worst thing to leave home without?” To which I replied, “I don’t know.” Then, laughing, they both said in unison, “THIS BOOK!”

We will be taking a road trip at the end of July and I can guarantee you that these books will be packed for the van ride. Even though they’ve read through all of the jokes already, they haven’t completed the illustrations. That will provide for hours of more enjoyment and entertainment.

I would highly recommend these books to all parents of school-age children.