His Word, Kids/Parenting, My 'Farm', Soul Relationships

Imperfect Pumpkins & An Imperfect Me

Today’s post is from October 20, 2013.

My kids and me at the pumpkin patch and corn maze in October 2014
My kids and me at the pumpkin patch and corn maze in October 2014

I took a trip to the corn maze and pumpkin patch yesterday. It’s funny how you can be looking at a map or a visual guide and still feel like you don’t KNOW where you are or where you’re going. I guess it’s like that with life sometimes. You can have a general awareness of where you are, but the details are fuzzy.

While we were there, we walked around the pumpkin patch. We saw pumpkins of all shapes and sizes and colors. There were small, hard, white pumpkins that, while they were aesthetically pleasing, would only be useful for decoration; you couldn’t carve them into a jack-o-lantern. There were gourds that were also beautiful to look at, with their varying colors. Some were all orange, some were orange and green, some were yellow; but the one characteristic they all shared were the bumps on the outside. Some had few, while others had many.

When we made it to the bigger pumpkins, you know the ones you search for to carve; there were rows upon rows of these magnificent creations. As we walked through the vast array of pumpkins, we found some that were perfectly orange. Some were more round than others. Some were tall and skinny, while others were short and fat. Some were flat on one side. Some were even rotting. Some were dirty from sitting in the mud from the recent rain. Some were clean, as though someone had walked along and brushed the dried mud off of them. Despite the fact that we were not planning to buy a pumpkin, it was still enjoyable to look at and compare the many sizes and shapes of the pumpkins available.

I sit now and think about how I can feel like a pumpkin. Waiting, while everyone walks around you and the other pumpkins near you, in search of their ‘perfect’ pumpkin. Waiting, for someone to come along and scoop you up and say, “You are just right for me.” Waiting, for someone to come along and say to you, “You are worthy of being on display at my house.” Waiting, for someone to recognize all of the wonderful qualities you have to offer. Waiting, for someone to choose you. Waiting, for just the right person, that one person, who knows all of your bumps and discolorations and misshapen features, and still chooses you. Chooses you to love. Chooses you to share their bumps and misshapen features with. Chooses you to trust. Chooses you to dream their dreams with.

I’m so glad that I have a Creator who doesn’t view just my exterior. Who doesn’t look at my bumps and bruises and scars and see them as the world sees them. He sees my scars as beautiful. He views my flaws and sees a work-in-progress. He sees what no one else can. You see, when I look at a pumpkin, I can smell the aroma of roasting pumpkin seeds. I can recall from years past, the crisp, salty flavor of that first bite into the seeds. I can even go back to a time, so long ago, that I was in elementary school at Mulberry, roasting pumpkin seeds in my first grade class.

In 1 Samuel 16:7, the Lord says to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” This came after the Lord rejected Saul as king and a new king was sought. The Lord had sent Samuel to Jesse, from whose lineage a new king would be chosen. Verse 6 reads, “When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, ‘Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord.’” See, Eliab was the oldest of Jesse’s sons, and so Samuel assumed the eldest was to be the new king. However, as verse 7 tells us, the Lord sees our hearts and there was something in Eliab’s heart that made him unsuitable to be king.

I am drawn to Psalm 139:13-14, which reads, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” These verses remind me that I am exactly how God has made me. Granted, I’ve exercised free will several times in my life, so where I am in my life has also been influenced by my choices. But, God made me the perfect combination of my mom and my dad. He made me, flaws and all, so that through my free will and my circumstances, I would bring Him the glory.

See, that’s what we are all here for. To bring God the glory. From every situation. In every circumstance. In good times and in bad. Because it’s not about us anyway. So, on this day, I choose to give God the glory. For creating me in such a way that He knew He would get the glory from my life.

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