This was originally published on March 19, 2014 because of an article that came to me via email. And yet, it is still true today…
An article came through my email and I wanted to share it with my readers. The link is below.
What struck me were these thoughts:
“The assumption that the father is of little use in the home and lives of children is costly. This mindset is especially unfortunate because the church has adopted it, at the very least, in practice, even in Reformed circles. We reveal this when we show little care for those without fathers. If we can agree that the fatherless should be considered orphans, and even the children with absentee dads, does the church have a responsibility?”
“If the church wants to bring up young male and female leaders in their congregations and effectively evangelize their city, they must address the issue of fatherlessness”
“It takes men and families building relationships with kids and young adults intentionally looking for spiritual sons and daughters to adopt “unofficially.” To our surprise, I think we’d find most kids and young adults with absent fathers would be open to older godly men acting as a spiritual father in their lives. These relationships need to be developed patiently, with the local church encouraging and supporting this initiative in the context of discipleship.”
The entire article is worth the read. Because I grew up without my father as a constant presence, I know what a difference a dad makes! Fortunately, he and I have established a relationship in my adult years. However, I know that I would have made some very different choices if I had someone in my youth, who was instructing me on how to value myself. It has made me stronger, for sure,but, it’s not anything I want my daughter to go through, if avoidable.
Fortunately, I’m not naive to the difference a Godly man makes in the life of children and have made every real effort to find a ‘substitute’ father, or someone to fill in the gaps in their lives. (Notice I saidGodly. I could find and use just any Joe Schmo to spend time with my kids, but the real value and reward comes in finding someone who fears God.)
Unfortunately, I had to look outside of my church home. Not due to lack of effort on my part. The real treasure in this is that I know who has stepped up to “unofficially” adopt my children. They are the true heroes here.
As a side note, my father has become a devoted believer, so, if it took my childhood experiences to produce the grandpa that my kids have, well, then so be it. It was worth every tear shed.
As promised, here is the link: https://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/finding-the-fatherless-a-call-to-fill-the-gap
Have a wonderfully blessed Wednesday!
This looks like a great article. I grew up without my father in my life as well. We still don’t speak which is sad. I have so often thought about how different my life could have been. My husband was raised by a wonderful, Christian father and we had very different experiences as children and teens. I’m so glad to hear your father is now a believer and you and your children have a relationship with him. This gives me hope :).
Candace, the only thing I can say is that if it’s meant to happen, it will…in God’s time. I never thought it would happen for us. But alas, God is good…all the time…and because it happened the way it did, He will get all of the glory. Isn’t that what it’s all about anyway? Blessings to you and thanks for stopping by!
So very glad that your earthly father has come to know the Lord! And how wonderful that God restored your relationship with your dad. Joining you today from Coffee for Your Heart!