Category: Link-Ups

Link-Ups, Series

Dairy Queen, Hotels, and Racing

Michelle

When my husband and I started dating, we knew that we would be in for some wild rides. I mean, how could we not be? We each had school-aged children we were bringing into the relationship. I have a ten year old daughter, a nine year old son, and he has a nine year old daughter.

One such adventure brings me back to Labor Day weekend of 2015. We decided the five of us would travel to Brownsburg, Indiana, to visit my brother and his family. Living outside of Lafayette, Indiana, Brownsburg is easily a day trip, but we wanted to allow the kids time to swim by staying overnight in a hotel.

A week or so in advance, I, with gusto, jumped at the chance to prove my hotel-booking abilities to my new fiance. I did a search for area hotels, and, having found one that proved to be satisfactory in the two big requirements: breakfast and pool, I booked it. Success!

The day of our trip comes. We head south to visit with family. The weather was gorgeous. The food was fantastic — of course, when is grilling out NOT a supremely awesome choice for summer meals? And the company was enjoyable.

As the day turned to early evening, we knew we needed to be getting to our hotel to check in. We say our goodbyes, and get everyone loaded up. At some point after we left, I decided I wanted Dairy Queen. Being such an excellent navigator, I opened my Mapquest app on my phone and got right down to finding a Dairy Queen in the area.

It seemed the closest one was quite a distance away, but hey, it was a warm night, and our spirits were high from the wonderful day we had. We ventured on.

As we traveled, it was becoming unclear where this elusive Dairy Queen might be. We ventured on.

As we turned into the golf course, my fiancé was beginning to question where Mapquest was taking us. He was adamant that there would be no Dairy Queen in the middle of a golf course. I was adamant that THIS is where Mapquest was taking us, so there MUST be a Dairy Queen. To which he replied, “Unless there is someone living in this neighborhood named Dairy Queen, there is NO Dairy Queen here!”

Well then. I guess my fine navigational skills just got knocked down a notch or two. Ok fine. Well, Mr. There-Is-No-Dairy-Queen-here, then by all means, please lead us to a Dairy Queen.

Sure enough, he did just that. He pulled out his phone (we both have iPhones, both with AT&T as our carrier) and opened his Maps app. Which promptly delivered us directly to a Dairy Queen parking lot.

Ok, there’s my first slice of humble pie for the evening.

Once we had our fill of ice cream and the kids were beginning to get a little stir crazy, we decided it was time to call it a night, and headed to our hotel.

Now, for those of you who aren’t familiar with the festivities in Brownsburg, Indiana over Labor Day weekend, let me share something with you. Brownsburg is the NHRA drag-racing capital of the world (if not the world, certainly the USA). And guess when their biggest event is? Yep, you guessed it, Labor Day weekend.

Suffice to say, every decent hotel room within a 15 mile radius of Brownsburg was booked. Which, was of no consequence to us, because I am a master-hotel-room-booker.

Or so I thought.

My charming and gentlemanly escort pulled up to the hotel I booked and walked in. Confident in the fact that his woman, with two degrees, has this room ‘in the bag.’ Poor fella. He didn’t know what he was about to face.

Apparently, when I booked the room, the website had defaulted to a day two weeks in the future. So, we had our room booked…for the Saturday in two weeks. Um, not the best situation, considering where and when we were staying.

Humble pie slice number two was a little rough going down.

Not to worry, my man is a problem-solver. There is a hotel right next door. Let’s see what their room availability is.

He goes into the hotel, and comes out successful. We have a room! We were so excited.

Until we got to the room.

It was a room with two full-sized beds. Not exactly prime sleeping conditions for 5 people. But we managed to make it work, without anyone falling out of bed. But not before we went swimming in their outdoor ‘heated’ pool. Oh yes those are my air quotes, because there was NOTHING heated about this pool. Fortunately, the woman at the front desk of the original hotel, you know, the one with the room booked in two weeks, felt bad for us. She allowed us to swim in their hotel pool. Which was thankfully, indoors.

You know the old saying, “We will laugh about this someday”? Well, we do, now. Although that night, I was really beating myself up.

I felt inadequate. Incapable. And most of all, I thought for sure that this would be the beginning of the end of our relationship. I mean, really? Who wants to be with someone who can’t navigate or book a hotel? I just knew our demise was approaching.

Fortunately for me, my husband is a wonderfully forgiving man, who gives me more grace than he gives himself. He was cool as a cucumber the whole time, which was a good balance to my embarrassed, red cheeks.

I guess the lesson I learned is that we all make mistakes, no matter how much we try to be ‘perfect.’ And the important thing is how we handle the mistakes. Do we let them make us bitter? Or better? Now, when things begin to escalate between us, and one of us is about to say something we might regret, all we have to do is say ‘Dairy Queen’ and this event comes back to mind and we can laugh together.

Link-Ups, Series

My Goals and Vision…

Michelle

Areas of Lack

They say that the best way to accomplish your goals is to write them down. The purpose for this blog post is just that — to develop SMART goals; Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-Bound and to document them. To put them in writing is to give voice to them and make them more concrete.

I’ve put off doing this for quite some time. Until today. I recently decided to plunge into a writing challenge in order to overcome some of my perceived inadequacies. I’m hoping that this writing challenge will push me beyond my current writing comfort zone.

Let’s be clear. Anything worth having is worth working for. Nothing good will come easy. And, to be honest, I’ve been, ahem, coasting in this writing thing. Well — no more.

I am dissatisfied with my current level of writing; more specifically, the lack of time I set aside to write. I have yet to make it a discipline — something I do whether I want to or not. I’m also desiring clearer direction when I do sit down to write. Sometimes I sit down to my fancy Mac, and just don’t feel I have anything worthwhile to say.

Finally, I desire to have someone help me with some of the technical/programming elements of my website. I am pretty tech-savvy, but again, finding the time to devote to searching for the answers is a challenge.

Vision and Direction

Well, in order to get somewhere, you have to know where you’re going, right? This is my vision for my writing.

I can see myself, by the end of the calendar year 2016, having written an eBook of devotions for moms. Additionally, I can see being a regular contributor on at least three websites, other than my own. My writing habit will continue to flourish.

Steps to Get There

In order to accomplish my vision, I will write more. I will start by writing 250-300 words three times a week. Once I have been doing this consistently for 4 weeks, I will increase my writing to 500 words three times a week Once I’ve done this consistently for 4 weeks, I will increase my writing to 500 words five times a week. Once I’ve done this consistently for 4 weeks, I will increase my writing to 750 words, five times a week. I will then set a longer term goal with upwards of 1500 words per writing session. During this dedicated writing time, I will turn off all distractions, including email, my phone, and the tv. I will also utilize the many writing prompt resources that are already in my possession.

I’m excited that this journey begins today. I hope you’ll come along with me. Perhaps you can begin your own journey based on my experience.

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Link-Ups, Soul Relationships

What’s Your Season?

Michelle

 Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NLT) For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.

season-453x300

Ahhhh, spring.

I love this time of year. The weather begins to get a little warmer, the flowers begin to pop up from their winter slumber, and new life is forming

Have you ever had a particularly rough season in your life? Like the seasons of the weather, seasons in our lives come and go. And most of the time, we are able to learn a lesson or two.

We know that there is a purpose for every season of life, season of the weather, season of marriage, season of parenthood. Each season has its own intent.

My husband and I love the fall. We love the changing colors, the cooler weather and, of course, football! We love the fall so much, in fact, that we chose to get married in the fall. We made the decision to have a small outdoor wedding with only our parents, our children, our siblings and their children.

The rainbow of colors on the trees, the green grass, and the brown fields served as the backdrop for our intimate ceremony.

Our fall nuptials led us right into the holidays and the winter season. I love the winter season, for different reasons. Sometimes, I feel like I should have been born a bear. I love the cold weather for hibernating. I love the smell of hot chocolate and the feel of the brisk air on my cheeks.

The winter was a tough one for us. We faced some challenging circumstances with one of his older daughters. I had a battle with my son’s father looming in the not so distant future.

And then there’s the fact that I wasn’t working. Which was a blessing in itself; however, from the time I was able to work at age 16, I’ve always had a job. I had tied my worth to my monetary contribution to the house, therefore, I was feeling pretty insecure.

Through each season change, I’ve seen God’s faithfulness demonstrated. I feel Him bring the chill of the colder weather so we can all experience a season of rest. I see the new life that is coming around the corner with the spring.

I know that each season God has me in serves a purpose. I know that the grey winter, filled with challenges, sets me up for His blessings of the spring.

But the spring is all the evidence I need that God hasn’t given up on His creation yet. This is the season of beginnings, fresh life, and new experiences.

For me, this spring is helping me to lean into God’s light. I am ready to leave behind the darkness and struggles of winter and look to the promises of spring.

I am ready for a season where my husband and I grow together, toward Christ, rather than apart. I’m looking forward to the longer days, filled with more light. Days spent outside with our children, forming new bonds based on shared experiences.

This will be my first summer as a mom without a full-time job. This summer will be a season filled with many firsts. The long summer days that bleed into the warm summer nights will afford my family opportunities to create new memories.

Memories of seasons with life-lessons and love set to the tune of the cicadas in the trees and the smell of burgers on the grill and s’mores over an open fire.

Recently, a dear friend explained seasons of life and God’s priorities to me in this way: an idea, action or priority can’t be judged by one season our your lives. The essence of who we are can only be measured at the end when all the seasons are up.

If we give up when it’s winter, we will miss the promise of our spring, the beauty of our summer, and the fulfillment of our fall. We can’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy and pleasure of the remaining seasons. We can’t judge life by one strenuous success or formidable failure.

We must always persevere through the difficult times and know that pleasant times are coming. Leave the rest to our Creator and He will show us our priorities if we seek Him through His word and prayers.

Link-Ups, Series, Soul Relationships

Focus

Michelle

Happy Friday, friends! It’s been a while since I’ve participated in the five minute friday community. But when I saw the word for today is ‘focus,’ I knew I had to share a few words with you all.

The premise for five minute friday is that you are given one word and you write for five minutes solid. No stopping…no correcting grammar. You can learn more here at Kate Motaung’s blog.

Merriam-Webster defines focus as: the subject on which people’s attention is focused; a main purpose or interest.

Focus is my word for 2016. I am going to focus more on what matters. I’m going to make my focus the intangibles of life.

Focus

As I sit here in Starbucks, I’m finding it difficult to focus on this post. It’s loud. No more are the days when you can sit in the coffee shop and have some elevator music playing softly in the background. Nope…now it’s loud…and distracting…and not relaxing in the least.

Aside from the music, it is FREEZING in here. I can’t even begin to relate to you just how cold it is. My fingers are having difficulty typing. Because my hair is pulled back today, my neck continually feels the breeze, coming from where, I’m not exactly sure. And I’m trying to get my hood to stay up, but it won’t.

It’s distractions like this that the enemy uses to derail our focus…our thinking…our attention. He wants to get us thinking about something other than God’s Word or His plan for our lives. The enemy wants to make us ‘busy.’ Because if he can make us busy, he can get us sidetracked in our goals and dreams.

See, that’s where I’m trying to focus more this year. How can I be a better steward of what God has given me? How can I focus more on what He wants from me and for me?

And a shiver just went through my bones. As I’m trying to get my thoughts in line. As I’m trying to decide the right words to say to you to help you find your focus.

Do you want to get in better shape?

Do you want to read more?

Do you want to earn more money?

Do you want to have more quality time with your family?

Then ask yourself this: is what I’m doing RIGHT NOW going to bring my desire into focus or will it cause it to be blurry? Will it cloud my vision? Or is it in line with my mission?

 

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Link-Ups, Soul Relationships

Perceptions

Michelle

As I was driving today, I was mindlessly flipping through the radio stations and I stumbled upon the song “Harper Valley PTA.” I knew I had heard the song before, but it had been a while. I missed the first part of it, but tuned in just to hear the words, ‘they were surprised when Miss Johnson wore her mini-skirt into the room.’

I continued to listen to the song and the lyrics and noted that the song was from the ’60s. (I love it when Sirius tells me when the song came out.) It occurred to me that the lyrics describing the situation then aren’t too different from situations nowadays.

I was intrigued enough about the full song to Google the lyrics. Here is what I found:

I wanna tell you all a story ’bout a Harper Valley widowed wife,
Who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High,
Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn’t even stop to play,
And she said, “Mom I got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA.”

Well the note said, “Mrs. Johnson, you’re wearing your dresses way too high.
It’s reported you’ve been drinkin’ and runnin’ round with men and goin’ wild.
And we don’t believe you oughta be a bringin’ up your little girl this way.”
And it was signed by the secretary, Harper Valley PTA.

Well it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon.
And they were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson wore her mini-skirt into the room.
And as she walked up to the black board, I still recall the words she had to say.
She said, “I’d like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA.

Well, there’s Bobby Taylor sittin’ there, and seven times he’s asked me for a date.
And Mrs. Taylor seems to use alotta ice, whenever he’s away.
And Mr. Baker can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn’t widow Jones be told to keep her window shades a pulled completely down.

Well Mr. Harper couldn’t be here cause he stayed too long at Kelly’s Bar again.
And if you smell Shirley Thompson’s breath you’ll find she’s had a little nip of gin.
And then you have the nerve to tell me, you think that as a mother I’m not fit.
Well this is just a little Peyton Place, and you’re all Harper Valley hypocrites.”

No, I wouldn’t put you on because, it really did happen just this way.
The day my momma socked it to, the Harper Valley PTA.
The day my momma socked it to, the Harper Valley PTA

And it got me thinking…isn’t this how we all can be? We can be more critical of others than ourselves. We can judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. We can ignore the plank in our own eye and focus on the sawdust in others’ eyes.

I’m not sure what it will take for us to take an honest look at ourselves…to look at ourselves in a spiritual mirror.

I hear this in my kids…I am guilty of this with my husband or my family…

When my son or daughter offends the other, I hear one say, “Well, that’s not what I meant,” and then the offended party retorts, “Well, that’s how it felt.”

See what they did? The offender measures their intent and the offended measures the offender’s actions.

We are all guilty of saying, “Well, look at Miss Johnson’s short mini-skirt, but pay no attention to the nip(s) of gin I’ve had.”

This may seem like an odd place to tie this in, but I’m struggling with the word God has for me for 2016. I’ve toyed with all of these: brave, courageous, still, peace, and now trust. While all of these are good in and of themselves, I can’t possibly try to focus on ALL of these for 2016. So, what about choosing one that encompasses them all?

Focus…

It takes focus to be brave…it takes focus to be courageous…it takes focus to be still and have peace…it takes laser-like focus and intention to trust.

It takes focus to not judge others…but if I do slip into that old pattern, then it takes focus to look at their intentions and not always focusing on their actions.

 Intentions vs Actions

See, a while back, I was reading “Love and Respect” by Doctor Emerson Eggerichs. One of the ideas he discusses in the book is to look at the other party’s intentions before reacting. The way he suggests doing this is to ask yourself if the offender has general ‘good will’ toward you. See, if I know that my husband generally wishes me well and doesn’t want to hurt me, then I can more rationally determine whether he meant to hurt me or not. Most times, his intention isn’t to hurt me, but there’s a general miscommunication happening based on our perceptions.

Merriam-Webster defines perception as: the way you think about or understand something or someone. Our perceptions are based largely on what has happened to us and how we have reacted to it. Two people can go through the exact same situation and handle it differently…because of their backgrounds and what they’ve been through in the past.

We are all unique and we all deserve the same grace.