Category: Kids/Parenting

His Word, Kids/Parenting, My 'Farm', Soul Relationships

Imperfect Pumpkins & An Imperfect Me

Michelle

Today’s post is from October 20, 2013.

My kids and me at the pumpkin patch and corn maze in October 2014
My kids and me at the pumpkin patch and corn maze in October 2014

I took a trip to the corn maze and pumpkin patch yesterday. It’s funny how you can be looking at a map or a visual guide and still feel like you don’t KNOW where you are or where you’re going. I guess it’s like that with life sometimes. You can have a general awareness of where you are, but the details are fuzzy.

While we were there, we walked around the pumpkin patch. We saw pumpkins of all shapes and sizes and colors. There were small, hard, white pumpkins that, while they were aesthetically pleasing, would only be useful for decoration; you couldn’t carve them into a jack-o-lantern. There were gourds that were also beautiful to look at, with their varying colors. Some were all orange, some were orange and green, some were yellow; but the one characteristic they all shared were the bumps on the outside. Some had few, while others had many.

When we made it to the bigger pumpkins, you know the ones you search for to carve; there were rows upon rows of these magnificent creations. As we walked through the vast array of pumpkins, we found some that were perfectly orange. Some were more round than others. Some were tall and skinny, while others were short and fat. Some were flat on one side. Some were even rotting. Some were dirty from sitting in the mud from the recent rain. Some were clean, as though someone had walked along and brushed the dried mud off of them. Despite the fact that we were not planning to buy a pumpkin, it was still enjoyable to look at and compare the many sizes and shapes of the pumpkins available.

I sit now and think about how I can feel like a pumpkin. Waiting, while everyone walks around you and the other pumpkins near you, in search of their ‘perfect’ pumpkin. Waiting, for someone to come along and scoop you up and say, “You are just right for me.” Waiting, for someone to come along and say to you, “You are worthy of being on display at my house.” Waiting, for someone to recognize all of the wonderful qualities you have to offer. Waiting, for someone to choose you. Waiting, for just the right person, that one person, who knows all of your bumps and discolorations and misshapen features, and still chooses you. Chooses you to love. Chooses you to share their bumps and misshapen features with. Chooses you to trust. Chooses you to dream their dreams with.

I’m so glad that I have a Creator who doesn’t view just my exterior. Who doesn’t look at my bumps and bruises and scars and see them as the world sees them. He sees my scars as beautiful. He views my flaws and sees a work-in-progress. He sees what no one else can. You see, when I look at a pumpkin, I can smell the aroma of roasting pumpkin seeds. I can recall from years past, the crisp, salty flavor of that first bite into the seeds. I can even go back to a time, so long ago, that I was in elementary school at Mulberry, roasting pumpkin seeds in my first grade class.

In 1 Samuel 16:7, the Lord says to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” This came after the Lord rejected Saul as king and a new king was sought. The Lord had sent Samuel to Jesse, from whose lineage a new king would be chosen. Verse 6 reads, “When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, ‘Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord.’” See, Eliab was the oldest of Jesse’s sons, and so Samuel assumed the eldest was to be the new king. However, as verse 7 tells us, the Lord sees our hearts and there was something in Eliab’s heart that made him unsuitable to be king.

I am drawn to Psalm 139:13-14, which reads, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” These verses remind me that I am exactly how God has made me. Granted, I’ve exercised free will several times in my life, so where I am in my life has also been influenced by my choices. But, God made me the perfect combination of my mom and my dad. He made me, flaws and all, so that through my free will and my circumstances, I would bring Him the glory.

See, that’s what we are all here for. To bring God the glory. From every situation. In every circumstance. In good times and in bad. Because it’s not about us anyway. So, on this day, I choose to give God the glory. For creating me in such a way that He knew He would get the glory from my life.

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Series

Change & Grace

Michelle

This post is another oldie…but goodie. It was originally published on October 14, 2013

How much can one person really change? I feel I can say that I’ve really changed; but am I willing to extend that same grace to others? To see evidence of change in their lives? To really SEARCH for the confirmation that I’m seeking that change has occurred?

Yesterday, God gave me the opportunity to really test my ability to extend grace. And to believe in His ability to change people, without there being any real proof that He is in their lives. But just to have FAITH.

Grace is the Biggest Kind of Brave

As I woke this morning to read my devotions, I read yesterday’s devotion in my ‘Putting Your Faith into Action Today’ book by Dr. Robert H. Schuller. Its entry read like this:

FAITH IS…

Respecting persons after you know them.

“Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.”  ~1 Peter 2:17

Today the challenge you and I have is to respect the people with whom we live, work, and closely relate. Can we respect them after we’ve seen them at their worst? The answer must be a resounding YES.

How can our faith perform this miracle? Quite simply. Our faith reminds us that we too are imperfect human beings.

Our faith reminds us that God loves us even though He knows us better than anybody else! And if God loves us in spite of what we are, He will give us the grace to pass that charitable spirit along!

Hebrews 11:1 (NIV) tells us, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” As I re-read and study this verse, something pops out at me. You can interpret this to read like this, “Now, faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” With this interpretation, you would expect the reader to pause after ‘now,’ as though the author is saying, “Ok understand that, faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

However, there is no comma in the scripture verse. Which then leads me to view it a little differently. The way I choose to interpret this verse is that the author is saying ‘NOW faith.’ Meaning, not the faith you had yesterday. Or the faith you’ll have tomorrow. But rather the faith you have NOW. So, I believe the scripture author is really calling you on the carpet to prove your faith. Your ‘NOW’ faith. Forget the faith you had yesterday. Pay no mind to the faith you hope to have tomorrow. What is your faith RIGHT NOW telling you to do?

2 Corinthians 5:7 (NIV) tells us, “For we live by faith, not by sight.” The King James Version uses ‘walk’ rather than ‘live,’ to read, “For we walk by faith, not by sight.” Despite the fact that I memorized this verse in the KJV, I prefer the NIV version, as ‘live’ indicates to me that it is a daily, moment-by-moment, decision to LIVE my life out in faith.

This verse challenges me, because it goes against everything that is in my gut. My gut tells me that ‘the proof is in the pudding’ and that I need to SEE evidence of change in this individual, before I can trust and respect them. However, that is not what God calls me to do. He calls me to live in faith that the change has occurred. That He has gotten ahold of this individual and ‘knocked some sense’ into them. It’s not my job to look for that. It’s not my responsibility to hold this person accountable. My only responsibility is to Him; to LIVE by faith…my NOW faith…and to remember that, I too, am an imperfect being. I’m called to love and respect despite the fact that I saw this person at their worst. Because that’s what He did and is doing for me. And you.

His Word, Kids/Parenting

Nature…or Nurture?

Michelle

Recently, Emma got sick. It was no fun…for me or for her.

When I took her to the doctor, one of the first questions they asked me was if either of us had been out of the country within the last 21 days. I thought back to our recent trip to Chicago. While technically, it wasn’t geographically out of the country, I certainly felt as though I were in a foreign land.

One thing I’ve discovered about myself is that I am a bona fide country girl. I belong in the city like “Fifty Shades of Grey” belongs in the children’s literature section. Not a good choice.

But I digress…as I’m sitting here in the Barnes & Noble Cafe, listening to the typical bookstore music selection, with my daughter next to me, reading away, I begin to allow my thoughts to wander…

You know how they say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree? Well, I believe that’s true in both good and in bad situations.

When someone has lived their life and been surrounded by negativity, then negativity will prevail. The same can be said for the opposite.

This takes us back to the age old question of nature or nurture. Is a child’s behavior a result of their inherent nature or is it a result of their environment growing up? For the most part, I think that children learn what they see. If they see giving, then they will be giving in nature. If they see greed, then they will have a greedy nature.

On this trip to Chicago, we got around much in the same manner they did in Biblical times…on foot. If you’ve been to the Michigan Avenue area of Chicago, you can imagine some of the sights we saw and experiences we encountered while walking.

Huge storefronts for retail giants like Nike, Tiffany & Co., The Disney Store, and Under Armour covered the street fronts. Clearly, this is THE place to be if you’re wanting to partake in a little retail therapy.

It was on this street in this big city where I felt like a fish out of water, that I realized {hold onto your seats here, folks} my children HAVE been listening to me…

While waiting for one of the walk signs to change, we met a man begging for money. This simple event changed the entire nature of our trip. The first to notice was Elijah. He began to tear up. He was upset because he had found a $5 bill in the hotel lobby earlier in the trip. He had tried to find the rightful owner of it, but couldn’t. At the time, I told him to hold onto it, that God would present him with an opportunity to bless someone with it. And here, he felt, was that perfect opportunity, and yet he couldn’t find the $5.

My nephew was also visibly shaken and began crying. Emma was the third to be affected. By the next street, I had two sobbing children on my hands. Elijah was disturbed that the man apparently didn’t have enough to eat. While Emma’s sobs came in between mutterings of, ‘We have so much, Momma, and he has so little.’

I was able to stop in sidewalk traffic, which is no easy feat on this heavily traveled path, long enough to tell the kids that God was so happy with their hearts right now. That He sees how burdened they are by the tragedy of the poor and oppressed. We also took some time to pray for him and any others that we may encounter.

For you mommas out there, you can imagine how much my heart was bursting with pride in my children. Pride that they ARE hearing me. Pride that they are allowing God to work in and mold their little kid hearts. Pride that this one event, shows me that they can be more affected by nurture than nature.

The three of us then agreed to find a store where we could find food to buy and hand out to anyone who may be in need. We found a Walgreens later in the trip. We bought water, bananas, and granola bars for two people.

I have to admit, my flesh began to get weak. I was annoyed that, while this was a great idea, spurred on by my children, naturally, I was the one carrying the bags for most of the trip. {Emma did her fair share of carrying them.} But every time I began to allow this to creep into my thinking, I remembered the reactions of my children.

We ultimately found two people to bless with these bags. And Elijah eventually found his $5 and was able to pass that along as well.

During the course of the events of this 24 hours, I had several thoughts running through my mind. Of course, being an adult, and being jaded by people, my natural reaction was to simply pass these people by without another thought. There were times when I thought, why would I give them any money, they’re probably just going to spend it on drugs or alcohol or cigarettes.

This was a possibility the kids and I even discussed. But then I reminded myself, and them, that we are to give as God calls us. It’s not our place to judge how the receiver uses it. Having said that, I do believe that God will give us a spirit of discernment regarding our giving.

Luke_6_38

If you’ve made it this far in the post I need to tell you that I’m not sharing all of this with you to pat myself on the back. I’m not trying to bring attention to myself. What I am trying to do is remind you that God’s word will not return void. He WILL accomplish His goals, whatever they may be.

I think that kids learn what they see. I have tried very hard to model a generous spirit to my children. Not so I can brag, but because people have been so generous to me. I want my kids to know that if you pay it forward, it really can make an impact in the lives of others.

And, continuing the verse in the graphic, in Luke 6:38, we find a reminder that, “The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

Kids/Parenting, Soul Relationships

Beeps

Michelle

Have you ever noticed how the things that need your attention are constantly beeping?

The microwave that indicates your food is ready.

The washing machine that tells you the load of laundry is done.

The dryer that tells you it’s time to do the worst. laundry. task. ever…fold clothes.

The oven that alerts you that it’s been preheated.

And of course, there’s the smoke detector in my basement that has been incessantly beeping for about 5 days straight now. Who actually keeps 9-volt batteries on hand? In our house, it’s all about the AA or AAA so that the electronics can keep things running smoothly.

These beeping appliances remind me of something…they remind me that they are the ‘urgent’ tasks that must be handled. Things like getting dinner on the table; ensuring that everyone has clean clothes to wear. And of course, the smoke detector which is there to keep your family safe.

These tasks, while they are necessary, aren’t the most important things in life. They help facilitate caring for the most important things in your life…your family…

But your kids, your animals, your spouse (if you have one); none of these come with built in beeping mechanisms to alert you when they need attention. Knowing when these most important areas of your life need attention is something that takes practice, skill, and dedication.

For instance, when one of your kids takes out their anger or frustration on the other, that might be a good indication that something is awry. Or, when your animals start barfing (or worse, pooping) in the house for no apparent reason, there might be something deeper going on. Or if your spouse, who is typically open and communicative, suddenly becomes sullen and withdrawn, that would make me question what’s happening in their life.

See, in my opinion, the beeping of our appliances was meant to be a modern convenience; something to help us not ‘forget’ about the load of clothes in the washer (so they don’t get smelly and mil-dewy). Something to snap us out of the most important work of tending to and caring for our family.

When was the last time we were so engrossed in conversation with our family or involved in a board game with our kids that we just ‘forgot’ to tend to the responsibilities of the household? I can’t say that I remember a time, if there ever was one, that I forgot about the dirty dishes in the sink.

I think, somewhere along the way, we got things mixed up and backwards. The things that should be getting the BEST of us and the BEST of our attention are now on the back burner. They are getting the leftovers of our days. They are getting the attention after all household responsibilities are taken care of…

…Because those are the beeps that get our attention…

Or maybe it’s just me.

Maybe I’m the only one who can ‘forget’ what’s truly important.

Maybe I’m the only one who says to my precious girl, “Just a second, let me load the dishwasher first,” when asked if I will look at a painting or a drawing created at the artful hands of my daughter.

Maybe I’m the only one who says to my brave boy, “Just a second, let me get the clothes out of the dryer first,” when asked if I can see the masterful work he has created with Legos.

Maybe I’m the only one who faces these issues…

We all have the same number of hours in a day. It’s what how we choose to spend those hours that makes a difference.

His Word, Kids/Parenting

On the Fringe

Michelle

So, it’s been f…o…r…e…v…e…r…since I’ve written here. And I’ll be honest, it’s been weighing heavy on me. See, writing is my outlet…my free therapy.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about one’s ‘calling’ in life. You know, your purpose, why you were put on this earth…no, it wasn’t just to turn oxygen into carbon dioxide, or to annoy your kids – although, I have to admit, that’s kinda fun!

You know, using the talents that God gave you into your gift back to him – your reason. I truly feel like I have a story to tell. I have wisdom I can share. I have lots going on up there – it’s not just a hat rack, you know? But will anyone want to listen to the ramblings of me? Some days I really doubt it…those days are the worst. Because for those of you who know what your purpose is…imagine NOT doing it…yeah, kind of an ugly picture, huh?

See, here’s the thing I finally realized…I’m not writing for all of you fine people,in fact, to some extent, I’m not even writing for me…I’m writing for Him. I’m writing because I feel this is the gift He has given me. And what I do with it is my gift back to Him. He wants my time. He wants my words. He wants to know what I share with you, my dear readers…though you may be few in number, in my heart, you are HUGE!

My mind is a jumbled mess. My writing helps me to process things.

Like, how am I still doing this ALONE? This parenting thing – it’s rough out there! And yet I’m still doing it virtually alone. I’ve even had people tell me that I make single-parenting look like a breeze…whew, that’s one heckuva strong breeze…maybe a ‘gentle’ gale with the force of a tornado…yeah, that sounds a bit more appropriate.

But the question remains…WHY? What am I to learn in this season of life God has me in? Because if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that there is a lesson to be learned.

So, in my fringe hours, you’ll find me here a lot more. Learning, processing, working things out, ya’ll.