Kids/Parenting, Link-Ups

My Life As A…Rock Band Manager?!

This morning, as I was planning the day for my three minions, I realized something…

My life is like that of a rock band manager…hear me out people…

1) I am constantly on the road ‘touring’ with the band.

If we are not at the ball field, on our way to the ball field, or traveling to one birthday party or another, then I’m dropping off or picking up kids (mine or another band manager’s) from one activity or another.

tour-bus

2) My calendar is full of the band’s events. And none of my own.

Seriously, if you are going to ask me to be somewhere, be prepared to have me whip (NO, not whip, nae nae) my phone out to check my ‘availability’ based on which kid I am shuttling from one event to another.

3) My texting/email/phone correspondence is almost ALWAYS about whether one band member is available for a jam sesh or photo op with another band’s member.

Just this morning, I had every intention to sit at my awesome Mac (that I bought for myself, for the purposes of blogging/writing) and WRITE…for myself, for my blog, for some of my actual legit deadlines.

Is that what I ended up doing? Good heavens no. Instead, I emailed a local art studio about camp for my daughter. I read an email about my son’s scout fishing day — which then prompted me to think, ‘Oh, I need to text so and so’s mom to find out if this is what we are doing this Saturday.’ I remembered that I needed to email one of the facilitators for the sports summer camp my son is involved in. And I made a mental note to ask my other daughter about what she wants for her birthday — that is in 9 days.

4) The CFO and I have daily pow wows about what the best investment is for the band, as a whole, and their individual needs.

When you have three different members with three different interests, there is going to be some conflict about what is truly essential to their survival and success — independently and collectively.

Just the other day, my son and one daughter and I were all in a second hand store just for fun. I literally had to tell my daughter that, ‘No, you cannot buy crutches just to have them.’ Because doesn’t every house just have a set of crutches laying around waiting to be used?!?!?

5) When I was growing up, I thought about how incredibly awesome and glamorous it would be to be the manager of a rock band…being backstage, touring to many different locations, holding the throngs of fans back from the immensely popular band members and knowing that, after the show, I can just hang with these extraordinary musicians.

concert-crowd_e

Does this truly need any further explanation? Just for giggles, let’s expand on this…

Being ‘backstage’ loosely translates to: experiencing the meltdowns of pretentious ‘stars.’

Touring to many different locations: well, we’ve talked about this. If you’ve seen one overpriced ‘play area,’ you’ve seen them all.

Obstructing adoring fans from the objects of their affections: this really just adds to the inflated sense of self-importance of the band members.

Hanging with the ‘extraordinary’ musicians: You know as well as I do, this is just dealing with over-tired and whiny band members who have been up waaaaaaay past their bedtime too many nights in a row.

My Minions
My Minions

I do suppose there is an upside to all of this. As the rock band manager, I get to be with the band from inception all the way to the height of their success. Even in the good times and the bad times, we really just want to have an influence on those around us, right? What better way than to manage the musicians entrusted to our care?

2 thoughts on “My Life As A…Rock Band Manager?!”

  1. This is my faveorite of all your articles. It reminds me of how much you love us, that you spend so much time on us. Thanks momma.

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