Sometimes I wonder if we’re close enough. Not as in geographically. Or even in the same house.
But are we close enough that it’s going to mean something when they get older. When they want to talk about things that really matter.
Do they genuinely see me as a refuge? As a safe haven? As someone who really has their back? Are we that kind of close?
I know at some point, they will turn to their peers before they turn to me. But, do we have that close-knit bond that will allow them to understand that, despite what predicament they get into with or without their friends, they can call home? They can call their Momma…and I will listen or help.
I want to be close enough to them that when they get older and they get into a wrong relationship, they can call me and I’ll listen without judgment or even negative non-verbal communication.
Will they know that I just have their best interests at heart?
Are we close enough for them to know that they can rely on me to be there when their friends decide to drink and drive and they aren’t comfortable getting into the car with them?
Are we close enough for them to know that they can rely on me to be there when they decide to drink and NOT drive and they need a ride home?
Am I laying the foundation, daily, that is required for us to be this kind of close?
Am I putting in the hard work, the dedication, the time necessary to make this kind of close a reality?
Am I praying the hard prayers that seem to go out into the abyss, only to be answered many days, weeks, months, and years later?