Dear Mother…

Recently, a book came across my radar. It’s called ‘The Mother Letters.’ You can read more about it and purchase it on Amazon.

This book is a collection of letters written to mothers to encourage and inspire. In a society in which we are ‘trained’ to degrade one another and fight to get ahead, this book goes against the grain. And I love it. You can learn more about the project on the author’s website: Amber Haines. Her husband, gem of a man that he is, saw she needed encouragement for the hard days, and sought it in the form of letters from other mothers. They had no idea it would turn into the project that it has.

I encourage you to write your own ‘Mother Letter’ even if you have no plans to post it anywhere on the web or social media.

Here’s mine:

Dear Mother,

I see you. With keys and a cup of coffee in one hand and 3 bags slung over your other shoulder.

I see you. Juggling your hundreds of responsibilities for others.

I see you. Checking email on your phone, while trying to hurry your child along to get out the door.

I feel you. The internal struggles you have, trying to make the best decisions for your children.

I feel you. You’re single. This is not how you imagined yourself having kids.

I feel you. You’re questioning why God would choose you, of all people, to bear this child.

I am you. I try to be everything for everyone, all the while forgetting who I am.

I am you. I’ve been a single mama and now I’m a married mama.

I am you. I’ve wondered and questioned and mused over why God would choose me to mother any children.

I am you. I’ve worked full time (and then some) and I’ve worked part time. I’ve been room mom. I’ve been on the PTO. I’ve been involved, and I’ve sat silently on the sidelines.

I am you. I’ve critiqued myself in my head a hundred, no a thousand, times. Did I make the right decision to breast feed? Did I send them to the right preschool? Did I choose a good elementary school? Should we have participated in that activity, or should we have sat that one out? Do I get them to church enough? Do I spend enough one-on-one time with them each day?

See mothers, the truth is that in some way, we’ve all been where others are currently. We’ve all been wondering and questioning if we are making the ‘right’ choices for our kids, all the while feeling like we aren’t measuring up as women.

We are all part of this wondrous community of women, serving as the hands and feet of Jesus to the children entrusted to us. Motherhood is a calling, really. And as a calling, we are to rally around and encourage the mothers in our sphere of influence.

How, do you ask?

Instead of mentally criticizing the mother over her choice to bottle feed, encourage her. For by choosing to bottle feed, others can share in the joyous occasion of supplying nourishment to a growing infant.

Rather than shaming the mother who has no choice BUT to work, lift her up by offering to provide a snack or a meal to her family.

Better than creating barriers between yourself and another mother for differing ‘mothering’ styles, stop and listen to why she made the choices she did. I guarantee you will be enlightened. And you may even change your thinking on a thing or two.

Dear Mother, none of us are perfect.

Dear Mother, we are all questioning our choices.

Dear Mother, we are all just trying to get to the ‘other side’ alive.

Dear Mother, let us seek our similarities, so we can say, ‘Oh, you too?’.

Dear Mother, let us embrace one another’s distinctness so that we can learn from each other. We are all at different places on the same journey.