Category: Kids/Parenting

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Link-Ups, Soul Relationships

Perceptions

Michelle

As I was driving today, I was mindlessly flipping through the radio stations and I stumbled upon the song “Harper Valley PTA.” I knew I had heard the song before, but it had been a while. I missed the first part of it, but tuned in just to hear the words, ‘they were surprised when Miss Johnson wore her mini-skirt into the room.’

I continued to listen to the song and the lyrics and noted that the song was from the ’60s. (I love it when Sirius tells me when the song came out.) It occurred to me that the lyrics describing the situation then aren’t too different from situations nowadays.

I was intrigued enough about the full song to Google the lyrics. Here is what I found:

I wanna tell you all a story ’bout a Harper Valley widowed wife,
Who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High,
Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn’t even stop to play,
And she said, “Mom I got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA.”

Well the note said, “Mrs. Johnson, you’re wearing your dresses way too high.
It’s reported you’ve been drinkin’ and runnin’ round with men and goin’ wild.
And we don’t believe you oughta be a bringin’ up your little girl this way.”
And it was signed by the secretary, Harper Valley PTA.

Well it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon.
And they were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson wore her mini-skirt into the room.
And as she walked up to the black board, I still recall the words she had to say.
She said, “I’d like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA.

Well, there’s Bobby Taylor sittin’ there, and seven times he’s asked me for a date.
And Mrs. Taylor seems to use alotta ice, whenever he’s away.
And Mr. Baker can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn’t widow Jones be told to keep her window shades a pulled completely down.

Well Mr. Harper couldn’t be here cause he stayed too long at Kelly’s Bar again.
And if you smell Shirley Thompson’s breath you’ll find she’s had a little nip of gin.
And then you have the nerve to tell me, you think that as a mother I’m not fit.
Well this is just a little Peyton Place, and you’re all Harper Valley hypocrites.”

No, I wouldn’t put you on because, it really did happen just this way.
The day my momma socked it to, the Harper Valley PTA.
The day my momma socked it to, the Harper Valley PTA

And it got me thinking…isn’t this how we all can be? We can be more critical of others than ourselves. We can judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. We can ignore the plank in our own eye and focus on the sawdust in others’ eyes.

I’m not sure what it will take for us to take an honest look at ourselves…to look at ourselves in a spiritual mirror.

I hear this in my kids…I am guilty of this with my husband or my family…

When my son or daughter offends the other, I hear one say, “Well, that’s not what I meant,” and then the offended party retorts, “Well, that’s how it felt.”

See what they did? The offender measures their intent and the offended measures the offender’s actions.

We are all guilty of saying, “Well, look at Miss Johnson’s short mini-skirt, but pay no attention to the nip(s) of gin I’ve had.”

This may seem like an odd place to tie this in, but I’m struggling with the word God has for me for 2016. I’ve toyed with all of these: brave, courageous, still, peace, and now trust. While all of these are good in and of themselves, I can’t possibly try to focus on ALL of these for 2016. So, what about choosing one that encompasses them all?

Focus…

It takes focus to be brave…it takes focus to be courageous…it takes focus to be still and have peace…it takes laser-like focus and intention to trust.

It takes focus to not judge others…but if I do slip into that old pattern, then it takes focus to look at their intentions and not always focusing on their actions.

 Intentions vs Actions

See, a while back, I was reading “Love and Respect” by Doctor Emerson Eggerichs. One of the ideas he discusses in the book is to look at the other party’s intentions before reacting. The way he suggests doing this is to ask yourself if the offender has general ‘good will’ toward you. See, if I know that my husband generally wishes me well and doesn’t want to hurt me, then I can more rationally determine whether he meant to hurt me or not. Most times, his intention isn’t to hurt me, but there’s a general miscommunication happening based on our perceptions.

Merriam-Webster defines perception as: the way you think about or understand something or someone. Our perceptions are based largely on what has happened to us and how we have reacted to it. Two people can go through the exact same situation and handle it differently…because of their backgrounds and what they’ve been through in the past.

We are all unique and we all deserve the same grace.

Kids/Parenting, My 'Farm'

It’s ALIVE!!!!

Michelle

This post was originally published on April 25, 2014…

Ok, y’all need to get comfy…I’m about to tell you a most interesting story…got your coffee, water, tea, or soda ready? Are you snuggled in with a cozy blanket? Ok, here we go…

Tonight Elijah had baseball practice. Emma and I dropped him off at the ball field and went to Sam’s Club. I’m watching my time, in order to get back to get him around 7:30. We get him picked up, and head home about 8:15. This is where it gets good.
For those of you who haven’t been to my house, the master bathroom window overlooks the back of my yard and my neighbor’s back yard. I walked in my bathroom and happened to look out. In the distance, I saw one of our chickens…the kicker is, it looked like it was on the OTHER side of the fence (in my neighbor’s back yard).
So, I stroll outside to investigate. Sure enough, the chicken was frantically pacing along the fence line, trying to determine how it got itself into this predicament and how to get itself out. I could see the worry in her face, as she could see her friends, but couldn’t get to them. I can only imagine what was going through her little chicken brain.
I gather the kids and head over to the neighbor’s to try to corral this chicken and return it to our coop. A few of my chickens will allow me to pick them up; this was not one of them. I know in my mind that this is not going to be an easy task. With each step I take, I’m rehearsing the kabillion ways this could go.
The kids and I get to the same side of the fence as the chicken, and I’m trying to slowly approach her, in the hopes that she *might* allow me to just pick her up and toss her over the fence. She sees me coming and scurries in the opposite direction.
I ask Emma to hold the gate open, thinking if I can slowly walk alongside her, with the fence on the other side of her, we might be able to just walk her right out of the yard. Naturally, she ends up in a corner, not at all interested in my plan.
After this dance goes on for about 10 minutes, Emma finally yells to Elijah for him to hold the gate and she can help me. See, she and I have done this trick before when we’re trying to get the chickens in their run. Elijah begins to hold the gate, but not before a 5 minute dissertation from Emma on how it should be done.
A couple of times, the chicken gets within arms reach of me. I’m able to grasp out for her, but she’s very elusive and escapes my advances. At this point, I’m beginning to feel a little Jerry McGuire-ish, in saying to her, “Help me help you. Listen up chicken, I know you want to be with your other little chicken friends, but you gotta work with me here.”
Clearly, I did not have all my wits about me…trying to reason and rationalize with a chicken. Not one of my finer moments.
At this point, both kids end up at the gate to the yard and we’re all very discouraged. I begin brainstorming other ideas to attempt to save this hen from it’s fate of being separated from her sisters, when all of a sudden, the kids begin screaming, “HERE COME THEIR DOGS! MOMMA, THEIR DOGS ARE COMING!!”
Having lost a few of my chickens to the neighbor’s dogs in the past, we KNOW that they will attack the chicken in a heartbeat.
At first the kids were able to distract the dogs by having them come to them. But as soon as one of the dogs catches a whiff of the chicken, he’s gone! In an instant, the dog was at the chicken, grabbing it by its neck and dragging it through the yard.
I immediately heard wailing from Emma and Elijah because they LOVE these chickens. I tried to stop the dog, but had no luck. Pretty soon, the chicken was laying in the yard in a heap. My adrenaline was slowly beginning to decline, and I was now faced with the task of calming the kids down and explaining to them that the chicken somehow made it to the other side of the fence, and that this result was a very real possibility.
Emma and I began walking what felt like a trail of death back to the house; Elijah was already there. They were both in hysterics.
I was taking the time to explain to them that this is what happens, and that our dogs are pretty much the exception to the rule that dogs like to play with and kill chickens. I was mid-sentence when Elijah shouts so loudly that I’m sure people in the next county could hear him, “IT’S ALIVE!!!! OH MOMMA, IT’S ALIVE!!! LOOK!!!”
I turn to look and as sure as I’m sitting here now, that chicken got up, shrugged her wings, and walked away from a pile of feathers that I just knew would be the final resting place of that poor girl.
I quickly tell Emma to run to the house and ask the neighbors not to let the dogs out; that the chicken is alive and we’re going to try to get it.
I make my way back over to the other side of the fence, and again, we are playing this little cat-and-mouse game in which the chicken gets just close enough for me to catch it…if I took a nose-dive…and then runs off.
Have I mentioned HOW FAST chickens are when they are running?!?!? (Obviously not fast enough to outrun a boxer, though!)
By a stroke of sheer luck, I catch the chicken and, quite literally, toss the darn thing over the fence.
At this point, I’m ready for a stiff drink! All of this excitement is more than I can handle!
I begin walking back to the yard, after a successful search-and-rescue mission, and Elijah says, “It’s a miracle! I just knew that God would save that chicken!!”
Oh to have the faith of a child again…
Stay tuned for further antics from my chickens! (Even though the blog says 13 chickens, I actually have 8 chickens, and 11 pullets, which are like female teenage chickens…and they’re not even as much trouble as the grown ones!!!)
I’m gonna go fix that drink now…enjoy your evening/day/afternoon, whatever time it is when you’re reading this.
His Word, Kids/Parenting, Soul Relationships

There is Power in the Name

Michelle

Fear…there are a lot of feelings that this one word can elicit in someone when they hear it.

IMG_6825

For those of you who have the Proverbs 31 Ministry First 5 app, you know that today, Lysa TerKeurst writes about Matthew 1:20 and fear. The fear Joseph had when he found out Mary was pregnant – and it wasn’t his child. Fear of the shame that would be heaped upon him by the towns people. Fear of the anger toward Mary for ‘stepping out’ of their marriage. Fear of the confusion he felt about the circumstances.

These are all tactics that the enemy uses to try to incapacitate God’s children. To keep believers from accepting their God-given assignment. To prevent us from fully walking out in our purpose.

Lysa further goes on to say that, just as in Joseph’s day, the enemy wants us to be afraid today. And it’s not the good, healthy kind of fear that keeps us from dare-devil stunts and protects us. No…not this fear. He wants to keep us tangled in his lies, stifled in the discomfort of living without purpose, and suffocating in the fear of the darkness he covers us with.

While we are otherwise occupied by focusing on fear, he is stealing our joy. The gospel of John tells us in chapter ten that, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” The thief John is referring to is the devil. These are the words of Jesus, so He is who we will find a full life in.

He is stealing our purpose, he is killing our present moments, he is destroying our dreams.

It’s a total God thing that I read this today. See, just yesterday I was dealt a devastating blow. I mean, this was one of those below-the-belt sucker punches that not only knocks the wind out of you, but completely buckles your legs until you are on your knees on the ground. I mean when I first got the news, I felt every emotion on the spectrum. My first thought was, ‘Who the hell do they think they are?’ (yes, good church-going, Bible-reading, praying-momma, me had that thought). My next thought was, ‘Is any ounce of what they are claiming true?’ Even though I knew, deep down, it wasn’t.

While I’m ashamed these were my first two thoughts, I can say that I didn’t linger here very long before reminding myself that The Lord has this. He has this entire situation in the palm of His hand. He already knows the outcome. And, nothing, no NOTHING will come to me without first going through Him to me.

While knowing all of these facts, there is a part of me, however small, that is still living in FEAR about the situation. There is the perpetual ‘what if’ that keeps running through my mind. Because this is where the enemy wants me to unpack and camp out. He wants me to live in fear…so that I can forget about the purpose God has for me…so that I can focus on the ‘what if’ rather than the mission that God has given me, the calling He has on my life…so that I can NOT focus on the life-giving love around me daily.

The other thing that I need to remind myself of daily is that I’ve been here before. Well, maybe not in this EXACT place, but I’ve been in a very similar place. Where I was fearful of the outcome. And guess what? God delivered me from that. He kept me in the palm of His hand. When I was fretting about how the resolution would come, God already had it worked out.

So, leaning on the words found in Philippians 4:6-7, I will not be anxious about anything, but I will present my requests to God, and then the peace that surpasses all understanding, will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

The final comment that Lysa makes, and the nifty image that illustrates today’s lesson is this: ‘Proclaiming the name of Jesus brings power, protection, and a perspective that crushes fear.’

When the enemy tempts me to be fearful, when he allures me into worrying, when he seduces me into thinking nothing is going to turn out, I am just going to say, ‘Jesus help me,’ and I will feel the tension leave my body. I will feel the peace come to rest on my shoulders. And I will remember there is power in the name of Jesus.

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Soul Relationships

Time

Michelle

You know the old saying, “The days are long, but the years are short?” Yeah, it’s totally true.

Time…there have been books and blog posts written about it, movies made about it, podcasts recorded about it, cards dedicated to it…and yet here we are, talking about it again today.

I’m not sure that I have any aspects that give me qualifications to write about time, other than I’ve seen the passage of it.

Time Passing

This morning, my daughter and I were able to get some time just the two of us. We decided to curl up on the couch and do some reading. We are both avid readers and love the manner in which we can be reading together, but absorbed in our own books.

She is on her third reading of Ruby Holler. I’m told it’s a great book. I can’t seem to get away from my own books to delve into things my kids like to read. I’m in the middle of Flash by Rachel Anne Ridge. It’s a memoir about a donkey named Flash who appeared out of nowhere and turned their lives upside down. It’s quite remarkable.

What took me by complete surprise this morning was my reaction to her chapter on Beau, their lovable Yellow Lab. He was aging and she was discovering that there were many Last Times that were occurring right under her nose.

This got me thinking about the precious soul next to mine. See, she’s nine, soon to be 10. In two short months, she will be in double digits and only eight short years away from 18 and being an ‘adult’ in the eyes of the world. Soon, she will begin middle school. That time of life in which friends become more important than family and my opinion in her life will diminish.

She’s growing up so fast – physically and emotionally. We measured her height the other day as we were leaving CVS. Weirdest thing…as you leave CVS, there is a ruler of sorts, taped between the doors. Hmm… Anyway, she stood next to it and she’s like 5′ tall! Say what?!?!?

Of course her physical changes are nothing compared to the emotional changes taking place within her. She is beginning to understand the world around her in a way I can no longer protect her from. She’s formulating her own opinions and thoughts about how the world operates.

All of this is happening right under my nose and my head is spinning.

See, I had these grandiose plans for parenting. For being the best mom I could be. The mom who has fresh baked cookies for her kids when they get home from school. The mom who NEVER loses her cool about anything. The mom who always wants to play with her kids. The mom who always has all of the laundry done and always puts a nutritious, home-cooked meal on the table every night. The mom who taxis and shuttles her kids from one activity to the other, while singing worship music on the way.

In reality, it looks more like this: they grab a pre-packaged, processed snack from the cabinet when they get home from school…I lose my cool about HOW UNBELIEVABLY SLOW THEY ARE IN THE MORNINGS…sometimes I just don’t want to engage with my kids – yep, there I said it – there are times I would rather zone out on Pinterest, pretending to be the Mom of the Year than engage in activity with my kids…I have loads of laundry sitting around – some that need folded and put away, some that need washed…oh, and about that nutritious, home-cooked meal? Um, last night, Emma and I ate grilled cheese sandwiches and chips – yep, sure did…and do I shuttle and taxi my kids to their activities? Of course I do, but more often than not, I’m trying to find some semblance of peace to maintain my sanity. Sometimes that is in worship music, sometimes, it’s wishing I could play some Metallica without scarring their ears and brains.

This is happening folks…this is real, day-to-day life happening all around us. All the while, I’m scratching my head, whist it is spinning, wondering, when do I have time to do the REAL parenting? You know, teaching them all they need to know to hack it in the real world.

But you see, those lessons ARE being taught. My kids know that I love them by the way I care for them. The way I cook for them, and do their laundry, and help them pick up their rooms, and take them to activities they are interested in. I’m showing them that love equals care. When you love someone, you care for them.

I’m showing them how to roll up your sleeves and dig in and get it done, even when you don’t want to. All of those loads of laundry? Yep, they help too…even though they don’t want to, they know it needs done. Even better, they know when we pitch in and do it as a TEAM, it gets done that much quicker. And then there’s more time for FUN!

The worship music? Yep, it comes when the kids know I’m about to lose my shit over socks that are inside out. THAT’S when I begin singing my praises to Jesus for giving me these two blessings, without which, I wouldn’t have a full laundry basket or a full heart. It’s offering your gratitude, even when you don’t FEEL like it…because you know, you just KNOW deep down, that He is good.

So, this post started out about time…and how time is simply passing us by. We have to grab hold of that minute hand by living in the moment…capturing the scene in our mind.

Recently, I caught someone studying me while I was going about a simple, mundane, everyday task. When I turned to ask what they were doing, their reply was, “making a memory.”

Which leads me to my new favorite song…History in the Making by Darius Rucker. You should check out the YouTube video here. While it is about a couple, I think you could certainly apply the meaning to many situations in life.

Book Reviews, Kids/Parenting

Books for Kids!

Michelle

As many of you know, one of the things I love to do is read and review books for you all. Recently though, I was overjoyed because my kids were granted the opportunity to read and review their own books.

So, this is for all of the kids out there.

Rob Elliott and Revell Publishing have brought us yet another great joke book for kids. There are two editions: Laugh-Out-Loud Pocket Doodles for Boys and Laugh-Out-Loud Pocket Doodles for Girls.

LOL for Boys LOL for Girls

My kids have gotten accustomed to me receiving books in the mail to read and review. So, when a package came with books in it for them, they were beyond excited.

From the moment they tore open the envelope more than a month ago, to as recently as this past weekend, my two have LOVED these books. They have accompanied us on van trips to summer camp, to the grocery store, and they’ve even just sat on the couch together, sharing jokes and making memories.

Each page features a joke, the beginning of an illustration that goes along with the joke, and suggestions on how to finish the illustration. The jokes are clean and in good humor. I had no worries about the content of the jokes and I was perfectly fine with just handing the books over to the kids and letting them go on their merry way.

The best {and worst} thing about these books is that after the 3rd day of the kids reading them to me, I was ready to take them away! 🙂  I had had enough jokes! BUT, I didn’t do it. I let them continue to ask me, “Mom, what’s the worst thing to leave home without?” To which I replied, “I don’t know.” Then, laughing, they both said in unison, “THIS BOOK!”

We will be taking a road trip at the end of July and I can guarantee you that these books will be packed for the van ride. Even though they’ve read through all of the jokes already, they haven’t completed the illustrations. That will provide for hours of more enjoyment and entertainment.

I would highly recommend these books to all parents of school-age children.