Category: His Word

Book Reviews, His Word, Soul Relationships

Heart Sisters Book Review – and a GIVEAWAY!

Michelle

I’m so excited to share with you, my awesome readers, about a book I read…it’s a book about being a good friend…being the kind of friend you want to have. It’s called Heart Sisters and it’s by Natalie Chambers Snapp.

It’s no wonder that in today’s world, women are catty and competitive with one another. What do we expect, when our minds and TV screens are filled with shows such as The Bachelor, in which 20 or more women vie for the love of ONE man…or what about The Real Housewives of wherever, in which women are concerned with materials things or their exterior only?

So, when this book hit my radar, I was ecstatic, to say the least. I mean, who couldn’t use some additional literature on how to walk through conflict in love?

In the introduction, Natalie says that her prayer is that “the pages of this book will encourage you to work hard for the other women around you. To love them. To cry and laugh and genuinely encourage one another instead of being threatened by the “fleshy” feelings of insecurity, jealousy, or comparison.” I have to say, her prayer has been answered.

Throughout the course of this book, I have been challenged to view the women in my life in a different light. After all, we are all on this journey together. We are ALL under the constant barrage of feeling like we are not ‘enough.’ Whether its from our own family {because, let’s face it, we all have family members who, with one look, can make us feel small}, or the media, or our other mom acquaintances; it doesn’t take much for us to feel ‘less than’ in today’s world.

What if, instead of subscribing to our society’s ‘disposable’ view of people and relationships, we actually began to invest in people and our relationships? What kind of lovely world would that leave for our children?

This book offers guidance on how to do just that.

Natalie candidly shares some of the lessons she’s learned in life with her girlfriends – past and present. She offers biblical and world-view perspectives on why, as women, we need girlfriends in our lives. We cannot look to one person, however AWESOME that person is, to fulfill all of our relational needs.

“…the truth of the matter is we need other women in our tribe. We need to lean on each other and hold each other up when it feels like we can’t walk…We need someone to speak up if the dark brown lipstick makes us look like a corpse. Simply put, God knew we would need all kinds of relationships to fulfill the desire He placed in each of our hearts to live in community.”

I have so many favorite things about this book, but I want to share two of them with you today.

First is that Natalie gives excellent insight on five reasons that keep us {women} from embracing authentic female friendships. She coined this neat acronym to help us remember the ‘Fearless Five’

Can’t Ever Imagine Being Friends

Comparison

Envy

Insecurity

Being Prideful

Fear

So many of our issues can be neatly slotted into one of these reasons for shying away from authenticity and transparency in our relationships. Natalie walks through each of these in detail and gives true examples of how these can kill relationships in one fell swoop.

The other thing that truly touched my heart is the list of the Super Seven Sisters. These women are the true heart of you and each one has a different role to fulfill in your life. Now, as she indicates, you may have one friend who fills multiple ‘roles’ or who fits more than one ‘Sister’ relationship. If so, that’s great!

Here are a couple of the Super Seven Sisters that Natalie covers:

* Rahab: This woman is bold and will speak for you when you can’t.

* Ruth: These friends are loyal and unwavering.

* Elizabeth: This friend possesses the gift of encouragement; always lifting you up.

Now, I have one friend who fits all of the above profiles, but I also have others who may only fit one of the above, and that’s ok too.

Ok…now that I’ve shared some of my thoughts on why this book is so awesome and so timely {I have a daughter going to middle school sooner than I’d like and I know she can glean insight from this book}, I want to give one away to one of my faithful readers.

In the comments, please answer this: which of the ‘Fearless Five’ above do you struggle with most? Is comparison your pitfall? Do you find yourself comparing your perceived failures to the successes of others? Or is Being prideful your thing? You don’t think anyone could do ‘X’ as well as you do it?

Whatever your ‘issue’ is {and please be honest ladies, we ALL have issues…that’s the beauty of it!} I would love to have an open discussion on how we can use this book and overcome these snares that the enemy uses to prevent real, true, and authentic relationships.

One of you lucky ladies will be chosen at random to receive a copy of Natalie’s book. For those of you who just can’t wait for the drawing and want to purchase your own copy {and I can’t blame you there!}, you can do so here at Amazon.

Please be sure to include your email so I can contact you if you’re the lucky winner! Also, the contest closes at midnight on May 31. The lucky winner will be notified the week of June 1.

Book Reviews, His Word

Book Review – The Heart of the Amish by Suzanne Woods Fisher

Michelle

The Heart of the Amish

“A warning: there’s a pretty good chance you won’t feel like the same person after reading this book.”

So starts the introduction to The Heart of the Amish, Life Lessons on Peacemaking and the Power of Forgiveness, by Suzanne Woods Fisher. And she was right! Not knowing what to expect when I turned the first page, I was quickly swept into the world of the Plain People.

Because the Amish prefer a secluded and private life, people like you and me aren’t typically exposed to the type of stories found within these pages. Fisher’s stories are short (3-5 pages) but they pack a powerful punch! From an outward perspective some of these stories may seem minor (Everyday Friction), when compared to the life-altering stories of the Nickel Mines shooting (Turning Points), but they are all impactful in a meaningful way.

Each chapter begins with an Amish proverb that ties to the story of the chapter. Fisher then tells each story in simple, easy to follow writing. The stories varied in content, but always featured the forgiveness that Amish are noted for having. At the end of the story, there is a section of the chapter which offers Reflections on Peacemaking, which features ‘what-if’ scenarios and thought-provoking questions to lead the reader on their own journey of forgiveness. Finally, at the end of most chapters, a ‘Plain Truth,’ or fact about the Amish faith and lifestyle, was offered.

I knew I had found a true gem of a book when I began underlining in the Introduction and didn’t stop until the Epilogue. Typically the pen doesn’t come out until later in my reading. We learn in the Introduction one huge area the Amish are different, as Fisher tells us, is that they expect life not to be fair, so when hard things come, the Amish have experience on how to manage them. Plus, their world view is not self-centered.

I will say that I never expected this book to impact me the way it has. I am looking at people and situations and relationships differently now that I’ve absorbed these words. For anyone who wants a light read that will not question their beliefs, then you need to pass on this book.

BUT, if you are looking for an easy read, told with the grace and simplicity of coffee and conversation with a good friend, that challenges you to your core, then this is the book for you. I promise you won’t be disappointed. I am now on the hunt for Fisher’s other books on the Amish.

You can read what others are saying about this book on Amazon here.

His Word, Link-Ups

Sunrise Abounding

Michelle

How funny that as I republish the post below, I find the same theme…my schedule doesn’t allow me the time to write as I would like to. Even though Jen Hatmaker posted this writing on her blog months ago, I just read it the other day. In it she says,

“You will not miraculously become a writer by carrying on exactly like you are. It’s a whole thing and you have to make room for it. Maybe that is in the earliest wee hours, which is when legions of writers make the magic happen…You don’t get to keep everything as is and also add writing. That is not how the time/space continuum works.“

Oh…so that’s my problem. I’m going to have to give up sleep. I was just having this conversation with my BFF today about how much I. LOVE. SLEEP. I do, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. So, having said all of that…here is the original post from April 6, 2014.

It seems my schedule hasn’t allowed for me to write in abundance lately. As I’ve discovered during this drought, writing is therapeutic for me…and I need it. So, yesterday morning, despite the fact that Elijah and six of his friends were slumbering in the basement and any one of them could have awoken at any time, I decided to sit and enjoy the gorgeous sunrise…and write about it…

I’m sitting on my bed – listening to “Hallelujah, Salvation, and Glory” and watching the sunrise as I drink my coffee. When I first looked out, the night sky was a shade of midnight blue and where the sun was beginning to come upon the horizon, there was a shade of magenta. Now, as I look out – only a few short minutes later – it’s a blazing orange with depth and shades of pink. The blue backdrop of the night sky is beginning to lighten up. I could see the silhouette of a bird in the tree branch.

The blue is really getting lighter despite the fact that the depth of the actual sunlight isn’t increasing. The words of the song strike me deep – ‘THE King of kings and Lord of lords.’

Everything is slowly growing more visible and the light is giving the trees more definition. I hear Jesus Culture singing to me now…’Your Glory surrounds me – and I’m overwhelmed.’

The sky is now a beautiful shade of sky blue – but still not what it will be during the day. Where the sun is rising – the color is a shade between orange and pink and yellow. The colors are rich with new beginnings and yet…the depth and width of the color has not overtaken the sky.

God's glory and splendor
God’s glory and splendor

Where the colors were so strictly defined before, they are now beginning to bleed into one another. The sky is now a very pale blue – almost greyish white.

The clouds in the distance are now becoming illuminated with the deep pink of the sun. It’s so awesome to see the contrast in the clouds. On the top, they are the shade of the sky, but their shape and the outline of the bottom is defined by the color of the rising sun. While I watch the beauty unfold before me, I think about how me and my shape would be defined by the rising ‘SON.’

Jesus Culture serenades me with the glorious truth that is occurring before me: ‘the winter has passed and the springtime as come.’

The sunrise that is blocked by the trees reveals a sky that is almost translucent. And now – the colors of the sunrise are so narrow and thin – it’s just a sliver of orange across the horizon – barely visible. As if all of the glory that was just seen is preparing me for what is to come.

I can see things in the distance that I couldn’t before. There’s a farm and factory that are illuminated by the light peeking through.

In my headphones, I hear Kim Walker describing exactly what I’m witnessing: ‘Heaven meets earth like a sloppy, wet kiss.’

The sky is now a dusty light blue – with white streaking across like an artist carelessly casting his brush across his canvas. But THE artist is far from careless. Every detail of this sunrise was orchestrated and meant for me this morning. And I’m basking in the awesomeness of it all. My God is the artist…and the world is His canvas.

It’s an oddity – complex and yet so simple – that the sky and the earth would be lit up – but the actual sun is still not yet visible. I suppose it’s the same in life – we can’t see the actual SON, but we can see His light in those around us.

As I hear children beginning to stir under me, I take a moment to thank God for this time that is coming to an end. I thank Him for these revelations. For these illustrations and demonstrations of His character.

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Soul Relationships

Decoding Your Child’s SOS – by Dr. Laura Markham

Michelle

I originally shared this back on March 21, 2014. But, as I re-read this post today, I can’t help but know that God wanted me to read this on this day.

You see, I was just having a conversation with Emma today about how I felt she hasn’t been treating me with respect lately. Well, guess what, this article tells me that she is showing me she doesn’t feel enough connection, warmth and respect from me. Ouch. I will say that her love language is definitely Quality Time. She has to have that one-on-one connection with me to have her love bank filled. She needs time with just her momma doing things like reading, or painting nails, or watching her favorite program on TV. So, this weekend, we will spend some time ‘unplugged’ from the rest of the world so that my girl can get her emotional needs met. After all, as C. S. Lewis says, “Childre not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.”

Decoding Your Child’s SOS

“All communication is either an SOS or a care package.” — Kelly Bryson
You’ve probably heard the term “Acting out’ refer to misbehaving. It actually means to act out a feeling that you can’t express in words.

So when your three year old hits the baby, or your five year old throws a toy at you, or your seven year old slams the door, they’re acting out. You could respond with punishment. After all, the behavior is clearly unacceptable. But you would be missing the feeling that your child is finding so unbearable that he has to act it out. You would be missing your child’s SOS.

Should you overlook the “bad” behavior? Of course not. Move in to keep everyone safe. (In a perfect world, of course, you would do this BEFORE the SOS behavior. But families are made of humans, who by definition aren’t perfect. That’s ok; Love serves us better than Perfect every time.)

As you set the limit–calmly and kindly–remind yourself that there’s a reason for your child’s behavior. It may not be what you consider a good reason, but it’s her reason. And if you don’t address the need or feeling that’s motivating her behavior, you’re not giving her the help she needs to behave.

Want some examples of decoding an SOS?

  • Children who are always cranky and uncooperative usually need more sleep, more connection, a physical ailment addressed, or a safe opportunity to cry in a parent’s arms.
  • Children who compete with siblings often need to feel more connected to parents, more “seen” and valued for who they are.
  • Children who keep pushing the limits usually need to know the parent is in charge and will keep them (and everyone else) safe. (You show them this by setting limits clearly, firmly and with empathy.)
  • Children who “don’t listen” have usually been trained not to take us seriously unless we yell; they’re asking us to calm down and connect.
  • Children who are always rebelling usually need to feel more powerful, competent, and respected.
  • Children who disrespect us are showing that they don’t feel enough connection, warmth and respect from us.
  • Children who lie to us feel afraid.

What behavior bothers you most from your own child? That behavior is an SOS. Here are 7 questions to help you decode and respond.

1. What is the behavior that bothers you?

2. What’s the first thing that pops into your head about what’s behind this SOS from your child? (What need or feeling might your child be acting out? Connection? Autonomy? Sleep?)

3. What actions could you take to answer your child’s SOS? Make a list.

4. Notice how your own fear gets in the way of meeting your child’s needs. (For instance, if he’s suddenly talking baby talk, do you feel a need to correct him, or can you respond to his temporary need to be babied?) Breathe into that fear and let it go. Once we meet our kids’ needs, our child can move on. When we deny needs, the child stays stuck.

5. Make a plan to take at least one of those actions every day for a week. (It might be the same action over and over.)

6. Notice your child’s behavior change. What have you learned about his or her needs?

7. What will you do differently in the future?

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Series

Joy

Michelle

This post was originally published on March 21, 2014. Joy – always a great topic for discussion!

YAY! It’s Friday! These are the days that I link up with Lisa Jo Baker on her Five Minute Friday writing challenge.

Today’s word is Joy. Here goes:
Joy. I can think of all of the standard cliches when it comes to Joy. Some of them are true: Jesus Others You (JOY) is the way to find Joy in your life. Joy is an inner state, happiness is circumstantial.
Here’s where I find Joy. My daughter, who is growing up into the most amazing little girl. Am I allowed to still call her that? She’s not still ‘little,’ yet she’s so far from being grown up. She has such a love for others. We were at church last Sunday, and the worship was geared towards children’s church camp. They gave an overview and showed pictures of past years. This little girl of mine, who is generally so timid and shy, looked at me with a sparkle in her eye, and a joyful expression on her face and said, “Momma, I want to go!” She’s never stayed with anyone but family for 3 nights…but she wrote in her journal that night that she so desperately wants to go. She wrote that ‘it seems like kids really meet Jesus there (well, not face-to-face), but they get to know Him better and I want to get to know Him better.’ WOW! This Momma heart was just. about. to. burst. when she allowed me to read her vulnerable words.
My son, who is turning into a young man right before my eyes. When he got home from school yesterday, he mentioned that he had hurt someone’s feelings in school. So, I gave it the attention it needed. We discussed it, then I thought we were done. Later, when he came out of the bathroom after his bath and was in his pj’s and was at his most open, he was crying. I asked him what was wrong, and he said, ‘Momma, I really hurt some people’s feelings today.’ Then he continued to cry. I held him, I prayed over him, we talked about it, and I consoled his little boy broken heart. I told him that God is so proud of him right now for understanding and realizing that he may have hurt someone. I told him that Jesus and the Holy Spirit are for sure living in his little boy heart, for him to be feeling this way. Again, a bursting Momma heart.
These examples are only two of the many that I could share with you. I have so many words I could share about my children. I have so many emotions that pulse through me on a daily basis. I know my kids are far from perfect; I’ve witnessed it. But this Momma is surely joy-filled when events such as these occur under my watch. I’m doing something right…maybe not too many things, but I am pointing them to the one true source of Joy in this world: Jesus. And if that’s the only thing they learn from me, well, then I have equipped them the best I know how.
Have a fabulous Friday! Spring is upon us.