His Word

How Do You Endure Testing?

James 1:12 NLT – God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Just the other day, while waiting in the school pick-up line, I observed the trees around me. The day was filled with a blustery wind; the kind of wind that makes you feel like you truly could be the nannies in “Mary Poppins” and be blown away.

Listening to the wind whipping through the trees and seeing them bend and sway, my thoughts drifted to this verse.

I watched the smaller trees bend and twist with the force of the wind. In contrast, the larger trees moved much less in the force of the wind. Their roots were deeper and their branches larger, which enabled them to withstand the strong gusts of wind.

These trees provided a good illustration for this verse found in James. If we can patiently endure the trials and testing and temptation, then God is faithful and we will receive the crown of life He has promised.

The mature trees have been able to stand the test of time against the battering winds, the torrential rains, the heavy snow, the brutal winters, and the scorching summers.

We need to constantly be growing and maturing in His word in order to endure testing and temptation. First Corinthians 10:13 tells us, “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.”

When we are tempted, when we are tested and when trials come our way, we must remember that our God is faithful. We will only be tempted as much as we can stand and He will always provide a way out of it. We just have to lean into Him. We just need to rely on the promises found in His word. We need to be firmly rooted in Him so that we can be found faithful in our testing and temptation.

Lord, let us always have our roots in You and let us always look toward the Heavens to endure the testing that comes our way, Amen.

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Soul Relationships

Hard Lessons Learned

Happy Wednesday dear friends.

After driving for 22 years (you can do the math on my age), I can proudly say that I’ve never locked my keys in my car.

Until this morning.

I went into the kids’ school to talk party stuff. Tomorrow is the big Valentine’s Day class party. I chatted with a few other teachers and was headed out the door.

Until I heard my daughter crying out to me from the front door of the school. I was *almost* to my van. She informed me that she needed money for the book fair today.

So, I did what every good parent does. I grumbled under my breath the rest of the way to my van, got my wallet, and grumbled the whole way into the school. Once there, I discovered that I had a five-dollar bill and a ten-dollar bill. No way this could be split equitably between two kids.

I stopped in the office, knowing they must be tired of seeing me already this morning, to ask if they had change. No such luck. My next stop was the book fair. I mean, after all, wasn’t the blasted book fair the whole reason I had to make a second trip into the school this morning? The least it could do for me is give me change for a ten-dollar bill, so I could split it evenly.

The volunteer working the book fair so kindly gave me 2 five-dollar bills and as I was leaving, two mothers from my daughter’s class asked what they could send in for the party tomorrow. Being so grateful for their donations, I shared with them what we still needed and continued on my way.

I made what I thought was my final stop in the school office, so they could deliver money to my children for the book fair. YAY!

As I’m just getting ready to walk out the door, I realize I don’t have my keys. Trying to play it cool to the ladies in the office, I’m all like, ‘oh gosh, I’m sure they’re in the van.’

I leave the office and walk out to my van. The walk, which normally takes 2 minutes tops, felt like an eternity. I was thinking to myself the whole way that I NEVER leave my keys in my van. Nor do I ever leave my van unlocked.

You’re a smart bunch of people, you’re my friends, after all. You know where this is going, right?

I get to my van, look in the window, and see that sure enough, my keys are in the van. In a split second, I look down and notice that the door is locked.

mistake

AWESOMESAUCE! I’m so loving my luck right now! I only had about a gazillion things on my mind for what I needed to accomplish the rest of this week.

See, my husband and I have been having some *ahem* difficulties with one of our children. I will NOT name names, but suffice to say, said child has had a little bit of an attitude lately. So, I’ve been thinking about ways we could improve things with said child.

We also have a legal situation with another child that is looming over us. I know that God already has that situation worked out for His glory, but hey, I’m human, right? And I can freak out and worry and stress with the best of them.

Also on my ‘list of worries’ is previously mentioned Valentine’s Day class party that I promised and swore to myself that I wouldn’t wait until the last. minute. to plan…but, well you know how that turned out.

Then of course, are everyone’s every day worries and concerns.

Money.

Relationships.

Faith.

Weight. (I’m a woman, remember?)

Lifestyle.

All of these concerns and issues came together in a perfect storm to cause me to lock my keys (and my phone) in my van today.

When I realized what I had done, I called my husband from the school. I knew the odds of him answering the phone call were slim, for two reasons. First, it was an unrecognized number. Second, he was at work and I rarely catch him the first time I try to call. Typically, he sees my call and calls me back. I had to get my daughter’s iPod from her class to text him and ask him to answer my call.

He called a local tow company and they said they would be out as soon as they can. Y’all know what that means…

After waiting for over two hours, and many more trips to the office (I’m CERTAIN the lovely ladies in the office were really ready for me to go), they finally showed up to unlock my van. During this two hours, I endured multiple well-meaning individuals sharing with me how I might be able to avoid this fate in the future.

Also while waiting, not so patiently, for my rescuer to come, I did some thinking. I thought about how, when we are in the waiting rooms of life, we typically don’t wait patiently. Most of the time, we are trying to figure out how we can get out of our current situation as soon as possible, with the least amount of pain.

As I was waiting, it occurred to me that God might just want us to chill for a while…or two hours…

We might need to learn something in that waiting room.

Perhaps He is keeping us from something worse.

Perhaps He is keeping us from something better, simply because we’re not ready.

Perhaps He has us there because we are going to encounter someone else in that same waiting room and we can positively impact their life. Or vice versa. Maybe we need someone to be a positive influence in our life.

My point here is that, if I had my books or my laptop (or even my phone) with me when I locked myself out of my van, it wouldn’t have accomplished the same mission.

While there is nothing inherently wrong with reading or, in my case, writing, to pass the time, it would have distracted me from the lesson God wanted me to learn. The hard lesson learned.

That patience is a virtue. And one that doesn’t come easily or without cost. (To the tune of $68, as a matter of fact.)

One further point I would like to make is from a book I recently started reading called Your Sacred Yes by Susie Larson. The subtitle to her book is ‘Trading Life-Draining Obligation for Freedom, Passion, and Joy.’ You can assume that this book was written to help free us from saying YES to everything that comes our way. Instead, we should select only those activities that He has called us to.

In her introduction, she says this, “Life is a gift. Time is a treasured commodity. When we open our hands and give what we have to Jesus–be it our moments, our gifts, our time, or simply room and space for Him to show up–we find life to be a sacred journey.”

This spoke volumes to me. When was the last time you had whitespace in your schedule? Whether it was for a lesson learned the hard way or whether it was to sit with your grandmother helping her figure out her phone–without having to rush to the next thing?

Either way, we all need to determine what our sacred YES is, so that we can truly be open to the nudgings of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

His Word, Series

My Why and My What

My Why is…

…to inspire others to live in the fullness of Christ

…to share my story

…to love others to draw them to Christ’s love

My What is…

…being a child of God

…being a wife

…being a mother

…being involved in women’s ministry

…being a writer

…being a reader

What has made me forget My Why…

…fear – of acceptance, of rejection, of being too loud, of being too quiet, of being known well, of not being known well

…the enemy

…money, or the lack thereof

…confusing the ‘urgent’ for the important

Am I being a good steward of My Why…

…not always – when I get discouraged or think that everyone has already said what I want to say, and said it better, then I shirk my God-given responsibility to share

…when I am walking in my purpose, I feel fulfilled

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Soul Relationships

Thoughts on Pride

I have to be transparent here, folks. I’m struggling with my pride…

Merriam-Webster defines ‘pride‘ as: a feeling that you respect yourself and deserve to be respected by other people, a feeling that you are more important or better than other people.

It pains me to say this to you. It is uncomfortable to give voice to these feelings – because if I put them out there, if I share them with you, then it makes them real…it means that I really AM self-centered or self-involved.

And that’s the LAST thing I want to be, or that I should be, as a Christian.

I’m struggling with an inflated ego…I’m struggling with feeling like my husband, my kids, my friends, should all get on board with ‘Team Michelle.’

My husband, the wonderful man that he is, continues to tell me that I should ‘do something for myself.’ Yes, I agree that I shouldn’t be dead last when it comes to who I have been given to care for. At the same time, I feel like a self-involved, first-world-problems-focused, kinda gal. And that’s not me, at my core.

I recently read “Blue Like Jazz” by Donald Miller. This is basically his story and a collection of his friends’ stories on Christianity and religion and other life matters – money, love, etc. In it, he realizes that he struggles with intimacy because he is an introvert and enjoys his own company. He recognizes that he is not the being that others orbit around. The world doesn’t revolve around him. He has a plan for his life and how his days should go, and he gets annoyed with others don’t play their part in his script. He takes everything personally.

Up until about 3 months ago, I worked full-time. I was in a very customer-service oriented position. People were emailing me, calling me, and appearing in my office door all the live-long day. Everyone needed something. I used to get so agitated. I would think, ‘If these people would only leave me alone, I could get some work done.’

I realize now, that their needs WERE my work.

Now that I’m a full-time stay at home mom (for all intents and purposes because I only work about 10 hours a week), I’m realizing that those little people, my husband, those in my sphere of influence – their needs are my work.

Whatever I can do to make their lives smoother…that is my ‘job.’ And it’s certainly a full-time one, at that.

We were not made to do life alone. We were made to be in relationship with others…to go through life with our tribe by our side.

My outlook needs to change. The landscape in my life and in the lives of those around me is changing.

I’ve never been one to welcome an interruption, particularly when I’m eyeball deep in thought or task. However, I can learn from Jesus the proper response to interruptions.

In Matthew 14, we learn that John the Baptist was beheaded. When Jesus learns of this news, ‘he left in a boat to a remote area to be alone. But the crowds heard where he was headed and followed on foot from many towns.’

Jesus wanted to get away.

He left. On a boat. To a remote area. To be alone.

All of these phrases indicate that he didn’t want to be bothered.

And yet, we read in the next verse, ‘Jesus saw the huge crowd as he stepped from the boat, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.’

Jesus saw.

He had compassion on them.

And healed their sick.

You know what’s coming next, right? This is the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand with five loaves of bread and two fish. He just learned that the head of his BFF was delivered on a silver platter to a snotty little girl who wanted it as a birthday wish. Seriously?

This news was delivered to Him and He wanted to mourn. Alone. On a boat.

But He saw the people and He knew His mourning would have to wait. His needs would take a back-seat to those He had compassion on.

This is the example I am to follow.

Will I succeed every time? No.

Will I screw it up royally on occasion? You betcha.

Will I have to apologize and ask for forgiveness from those closest to me? Absolutely.

Will my family and friends remember that I gave them my very best? Yes and no.

Will I feel better knowing that I poured myself and my life into my loved ones? Without a doubt.

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Link-Ups, Soul Relationships

Perceptions

As I was driving today, I was mindlessly flipping through the radio stations and I stumbled upon the song “Harper Valley PTA.” I knew I had heard the song before, but it had been a while. I missed the first part of it, but tuned in just to hear the words, ‘they were surprised when Miss Johnson wore her mini-skirt into the room.’

I continued to listen to the song and the lyrics and noted that the song was from the ’60s. (I love it when Sirius tells me when the song came out.) It occurred to me that the lyrics describing the situation then aren’t too different from situations nowadays.

I was intrigued enough about the full song to Google the lyrics. Here is what I found:

I wanna tell you all a story ’bout a Harper Valley widowed wife,
Who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High,
Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn’t even stop to play,
And she said, “Mom I got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA.”

Well the note said, “Mrs. Johnson, you’re wearing your dresses way too high.
It’s reported you’ve been drinkin’ and runnin’ round with men and goin’ wild.
And we don’t believe you oughta be a bringin’ up your little girl this way.”
And it was signed by the secretary, Harper Valley PTA.

Well it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon.
And they were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson wore her mini-skirt into the room.
And as she walked up to the black board, I still recall the words she had to say.
She said, “I’d like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA.

Well, there’s Bobby Taylor sittin’ there, and seven times he’s asked me for a date.
And Mrs. Taylor seems to use alotta ice, whenever he’s away.
And Mr. Baker can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn’t widow Jones be told to keep her window shades a pulled completely down.

Well Mr. Harper couldn’t be here cause he stayed too long at Kelly’s Bar again.
And if you smell Shirley Thompson’s breath you’ll find she’s had a little nip of gin.
And then you have the nerve to tell me, you think that as a mother I’m not fit.
Well this is just a little Peyton Place, and you’re all Harper Valley hypocrites.”

No, I wouldn’t put you on because, it really did happen just this way.
The day my momma socked it to, the Harper Valley PTA.
The day my momma socked it to, the Harper Valley PTA

And it got me thinking…isn’t this how we all can be? We can be more critical of others than ourselves. We can judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. We can ignore the plank in our own eye and focus on the sawdust in others’ eyes.

I’m not sure what it will take for us to take an honest look at ourselves…to look at ourselves in a spiritual mirror.

I hear this in my kids…I am guilty of this with my husband or my family…

When my son or daughter offends the other, I hear one say, “Well, that’s not what I meant,” and then the offended party retorts, “Well, that’s how it felt.”

See what they did? The offender measures their intent and the offended measures the offender’s actions.

We are all guilty of saying, “Well, look at Miss Johnson’s short mini-skirt, but pay no attention to the nip(s) of gin I’ve had.”

This may seem like an odd place to tie this in, but I’m struggling with the word God has for me for 2016. I’ve toyed with all of these: brave, courageous, still, peace, and now trust. While all of these are good in and of themselves, I can’t possibly try to focus on ALL of these for 2016. So, what about choosing one that encompasses them all?

Focus…

It takes focus to be brave…it takes focus to be courageous…it takes focus to be still and have peace…it takes laser-like focus and intention to trust.

It takes focus to not judge others…but if I do slip into that old pattern, then it takes focus to look at their intentions and not always focusing on their actions.

 Intentions vs Actions

See, a while back, I was reading “Love and Respect” by Doctor Emerson Eggerichs. One of the ideas he discusses in the book is to look at the other party’s intentions before reacting. The way he suggests doing this is to ask yourself if the offender has general ‘good will’ toward you. See, if I know that my husband generally wishes me well and doesn’t want to hurt me, then I can more rationally determine whether he meant to hurt me or not. Most times, his intention isn’t to hurt me, but there’s a general miscommunication happening based on our perceptions.

Merriam-Webster defines perception as: the way you think about or understand something or someone. Our perceptions are based largely on what has happened to us and how we have reacted to it. Two people can go through the exact same situation and handle it differently…because of their backgrounds and what they’ve been through in the past.

We are all unique and we all deserve the same grace.