His Word, Series

ready

So, as I’m starting this post, it’s 8 minutes until midnight…it’s almost Friday…

As with most Fridays, I’m linking up with Five Minute Friday with Kate Motaung.

Today’s prompt is…ready…

So, in my heart of hearts…I feel I’m ready. Now, I know what you’ll say…how do I know if I’m ready when I’ve never been ‘there’ before?

Because I feel it…in my heart…in my soul…in the core of who I am.

I’m ready.

I’m ready to be the wife God would have me to be.

I’m ready to be the woman I was destined to be.

I’m ready for all of it…

the sleepovers where I’m stepping over the bodies of boys in sleeping bags

the spa days with girls who are desiring to be princesses

the meals…oh the countless meals to be prepared and eaten in the kitchen that is the hub of the house

juggling schedules of 4 kids and their activities

laying in bed, next to the man that God chose for me…that is perfect for me…not that he’s perfect…but perfect for me

after the day is done…and the kids are in bed…laying there discussing the events of the day and the plans for the day to come…

knowing that, no matter what, our feet will be intertwined at some point in the 24 hour period that is a day…

God, I’m ready…I’m ready to be the Proverbs 31 woman You desire…with all of my faults and flaws and imperfections…

with the man You chose for me…the man who will embrace those imperfections and not look down upon them.

now, for the ever important question…is HE ready?

His Word, Random

real…i mean really real

ok folks, i have to be honest here.

smile

i have to be transparent and open and vulnerable. because being closed off and putting up a facade is doing nothing for me.

i’m hurting.

i’m broken into a million little pieces.

there are days where i get up and go through the same routine…let the dogs out, make the coffee, let the dogs in, empty the dishwasher, fix lunches, shower, get ready, fight to get the kids up, fight to get the kids to choose something for breakfast, fight to get the kids to EAT breakfast, fight to get the kids to remember their morning routine…you know, the one they do. every. single. morning. and yet, can’t remember to put shoes and socks on…

drop the kids off

go to work

come home from work

fight with kids to do their homework

fight to get the kids to eat a healthy dinner

shuttle said kids to and from practices

put kids in the shower

send kids off to bed

wonder what in the world did i get accomplished today

what difference did i make today

whose life did i touch today

oh, now it’s time to go to bed and do it all over again tomorrow

am i alone here?

am i floating about – alone – in this abyss of routine and schedules and permission slips and dinners and – oh what’s it all for?!

i’ve lost my joy.

i feel i’m missing something. i’m missing out on something…but what? i know what i *think* i’m missing…but am i truly?

it’s grey in my world right now.

ever feel this way? like sometimes, you just need someone to come alongside you, grab your hand, and say that everything will be ok? yeah…me too…

strong person

in an attempt to pull myself out of this ‘funk,’ i decided to look at Ann Voskamp’s Joy Dare for September. today’s dare is to find 3 gifts yellow.

i stopped at 2.

i. can’t. find. a. third. yellow. gift.

some days i wonder and ponder and question what the point of it all is.

am i enough for this life? am i good enough. strong enough. smart enough. determined enough.

do i have enough perseverance to make it through this ‘rough patch?’

{sigh} i suppose this too, shall pass…you know what they say, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger…damn, i’m gonna be one strong person when i come out on the other side of this.

storm

and when i do, i know, i mean i really *KNOW* that my purpose will be to share this experience…this time of parched soul-dryness…this season of drought…this time in my life that is lacking color

i know that he is calling me to more…to a higher place of praise…to praise him in this mess…or in the hallway, as i wait for him to open the door…

hallway

and so, dear readers, if i could ask one favor of you – please pray for me. that is the most powerful thing we, as believers, can do. pray for my strength. pray for my peace of mind, body, soul. pray for me to find joy in the small. and pray that i would praise him…in the storm…in the hallway…in the mess that will become his message…

Random, Series

Reach

I’ve been pondering this…how do you reach someone?

How do you reach into the recesses of their heart to know them? To know their hopes, dreams, desires? To know their greatest fears?

How do you reach them and touch their heart?

Is it in the things you do for them? Is it in the things they do for you?

Is it in the conversations long after the sun has set and the day is winding down?

Is it in the moments you share with them? Those moments that would not be what they are, if they were shared with anyone else.

Is it in the way you look at them? Full of longing… Or is it in the way they look at you? With the little sideways smile…

And lets suppose there is something that has touched their heart…that has moved them from just an acquaintance to a friend or more. Wouldn’t you hope that they would share that with you?  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they told you what it was that you did or said that reached their heart? That touched them in such a way to make a lasting impression?

And do you wait for the acknowledgment that you’ve touched their heart? Or do you just keep plodding along? Doing what you’ve always done. Saying what you’ve always said. Loving the way you’ve always loved…

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Series

Change

Well, folks, it’s been awhile…I feel like my life has taken on a life of its own lately. Here I got this fancy-schmancy website and I don’t even use it!

Today, as with Fridays in the past, I’m linking up with Five Minute Friday – only it’s no longer with Lisa-Jo Baker. Now, we are linking with Kate Motaung. You can find her here.

The prompt for today is: Change.

It’s been said that the only certainties in this world are death and taxes. I’d like to append that and add that change is certain.

Change can occur for the better, such as a better job, a better home, a better school for the kids, or even something as trivial as a better meal.

It can also occur in a negative way. For instance, a job loss, the loss of a life, or even the loss of a vehicle that you depend on.

BUT, here is where I challenge your thinking. What we may view as a negative change may, in fact, be God working out things on our behalf that we know NOTHING of.

For instance, perhaps that job loss will open up the door to a career in something you’re passionate about. Or, the loss of a vehicle opens the door to a newer vehicle that is paid for. How rockin’ would that be?

See, let’s be real…you never would have left that job {or the security that it offered}, if God hadn’t shaken things up a bit and removed it for you.

These changes I’m referring to are large, life-altering changes.

But what about smaller ones? The ones that occur on a daily basis that may seem inconsequential, but that add up to a mountain of changes?

You could decide that it’s time to change your lifestyle. There is no time like the present when it comes to changing your lifestyle. Swapping an unhealthy meal for a healthier option. Deciding to participate in 15-20 minutes of aerobic activity 3-5 times a week. Getting more rest. All of these small daily changes would add up to a larger lifestyle change when made consistent.

And then there are the changes that have to occur for mental health. Things like: letting go of bitterness, anger, resentment, hurt, envy.

Just this morning, I read this quote:

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” – Mark Twain

This is so true. Because, while you’re holding onto anger that someone caused by something they did, they are across town, across the state, across the country and not even thinking one second about how their actions affected you.

Now, we get into the HOW of making these changes. These are not the easy changes that are tangible.

These changes require a choice to forgive and move on that is made daily, hourly, moment-by-moment. You can’t just wake up one morning and the feelings of hurt and bitterness are gone.

You have to have a daily laying down of your feelings and CHOOSE to let. it. go. so it doesn’t have a negative impact on your life.

You have to remind yourself that you are ABOVE the actions of the other person.

You have to take back control of your life by refusing to allow the actions of another person to affect you any longer.

You have to tell yourself that your future is worth it.

YOU are worth it. You are worth letting it go and moving on. Your happiness depends on it.

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Random

Grace

I’ve been thinking a lot about grace these days.

What it means to me. What it means to receive it. What it means to give it.

Merriam-Webster gives one definition of grace as ‘approval or favor.’

Another definition offered by Webster is ‘disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency.’

I think this second definition embodies how we should treat others. We should give them grace in the things they say, the actions they do and even {or especially} the things they don’t say or do.

I would love to be able to say I’ve arrived in behaving this way. But the truth is, I haven’t. I’m still a work in progress.

Did I extend courtesy yesterday when I was rushing Emma out the door so we wouldn’t be late? I didn’t give my perpetually cold child enough grace to grab a jacket on the chilly-overcast day. This momma felt like a heel when I saw her goosebumps in church!

Did I give clemency to the waitress who brought me a lemon in my ice water when I specifically asked for no lemon? I’m not so sure I did.

But, and here’s the true question…would I want someone to extend grace to me for either of the above instances?

YES! Absolutely I would. Because I could say that I wouldn’t have done either of these transgressions intentionally.

And I should have known that Emma wasn’t intentionally trying to make us late. And the waitress wasn’t intentionally trying to irritate me by bringing lemon when I asked for none.

I’m also trying to accept grace…the grace of God. Webster defines this grace as, ‘unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification.’

Do I want this grace? Oh yes. I do want divine assistance. Yes, I do want unmerited favor.

So, the one person who can offer it with no questions asked is Jesus. Why do I feel I have to work for grace coming from Him, and yet, naturally expect it when coming from sinful, fallible humans?

It should be that because I know people are imperfect by nature, that I extend them extra grace, knowing we all aren’t capable of giving grace the way He does.

And I should lovingly accept the gift of grace that Jesus gives with open arms. The grace He gives and keeps on giving.

Let’s try to spread and extend unmerited favor where we can. We are worth it, aren’t we?