Kids/Parenting, Soul Relationships

Dreams

Michelle

It’s 11:11 on a Wednesday morning. I’m sitting at my computer, trying to find inspiration or at least a few mediocre words to share that might somehow encourage you all.

Many of you know that last October, I had three huge life changing events.

  • I got married.
  • I moved (in with my husband)
  • I quit my job

Now, any one of these things would be enough to put someone in the loony bin, but I’m not one to do things {ahem} small. My philosophy? Go big or go home. So, I went big.

The last time something huge happened in my life was March – June of 2012.

  • I bought a house
  • I finished school for my MBA
  • I changed jobs

Suffice to say, I do big things in threes.

In the fall of 2012, I started a blog. It’s been quite a journey, to say the least. What I have discovered, though, is that I have to discipline myself to write. Don’t get me wrong, I love to get my thoughts and words on paper {or your computer screen}, but sometimes I just don’t feel it and have to do it anyway. From what I’m hearing, that’s how all of the greats do it.

I know, you’re probably wondering where I’m going with this post – the title is ‘Dreams,’ after all. I’m getting there.

For those of you who don’t know my husband, let me say you are missing out. He is kind and generous and giving and honest and trustworthy and genuine and compassionate. And he’s also my biggest encourager.

See, I shared with him a few months back my dream of becoming a writer. I know, I know…anyone can be a writer, all you have to do is write the words. But it’s bigger than that for me. I feel that God has given me a story to share. A story that can help and benefit others. A story that matters. And I want to share it. With you all.

I should have kept this little gem of a secret to myself. Because wouldn’t you know it, he told me I could quit my job and pursue my dreams. Whoa…wait just one stinking second…you’re going to let me…pursue my dream of writing? But wait…writers {most, anyway}, don’t get paid. How will I contribute to our household? How will I measure my worth? How will I determine if I’m successful?

These are all good questions. However, the more I travel and the more I read and learn about other writers who have paved the path before me, the more I’m learning that these are questions that are mostly based on where we live. In the U.S. In a society that only sees value and worth in money, possessions, and tangible stuff.

As a society, we don’t value the intangible things like creativity. We value houses and cars.

As a society, we don’t value relationships like being someone’s wife and mother. We value what you can bring to the workplace.

Dream Big

My dreams…my dream is that I will make a difference in the lives of my children and in those around me. My dream is that I can spread hope and love in places where you wouldn’t think to find it. My dream is that someone’s life will be better, improved, because of me and my role in their life.

I’m going to do it. I’m going to write. I’m going to have the discipline necessary to write 1,000 words a day…even if I’m not feeling it.

I’m going to put in the extra work to improve my craft. I’m going to read and learn from others who have been there. I’m going to take a step of faith and put myself out there to dream and to push others to dream.

Because what would life look like without dreams?

His Word, Series

My Why and My What

Michelle

My Why is…

…to inspire others to live in the fullness of Christ

…to share my story

…to love others to draw them to Christ’s love

My What is…

…being a child of God

…being a wife

…being a mother

…being involved in women’s ministry

…being a writer

…being a reader

What has made me forget My Why…

…fear – of acceptance, of rejection, of being too loud, of being too quiet, of being known well, of not being known well

…the enemy

…money, or the lack thereof

…confusing the ‘urgent’ for the important

Am I being a good steward of My Why…

…not always – when I get discouraged or think that everyone has already said what I want to say, and said it better, then I shirk my God-given responsibility to share

…when I am walking in my purpose, I feel fulfilled

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Soul Relationships

Thoughts on Pride

Michelle

I have to be transparent here, folks. I’m struggling with my pride…

Merriam-Webster defines ‘pride‘ as: a feeling that you respect yourself and deserve to be respected by other people, a feeling that you are more important or better than other people.

It pains me to say this to you. It is uncomfortable to give voice to these feelings – because if I put them out there, if I share them with you, then it makes them real…it means that I really AM self-centered or self-involved.

And that’s the LAST thing I want to be, or that I should be, as a Christian.

I’m struggling with an inflated ego…I’m struggling with feeling like my husband, my kids, my friends, should all get on board with ‘Team Michelle.’

My husband, the wonderful man that he is, continues to tell me that I should ‘do something for myself.’ Yes, I agree that I shouldn’t be dead last when it comes to who I have been given to care for. At the same time, I feel like a self-involved, first-world-problems-focused, kinda gal. And that’s not me, at my core.

I recently read “Blue Like Jazz” by Donald Miller. This is basically his story and a collection of his friends’ stories on Christianity and religion and other life matters – money, love, etc. In it, he realizes that he struggles with intimacy because he is an introvert and enjoys his own company. He recognizes that he is not the being that others orbit around. The world doesn’t revolve around him. He has a plan for his life and how his days should go, and he gets annoyed with others don’t play their part in his script. He takes everything personally.

Up until about 3 months ago, I worked full-time. I was in a very customer-service oriented position. People were emailing me, calling me, and appearing in my office door all the live-long day. Everyone needed something. I used to get so agitated. I would think, ‘If these people would only leave me alone, I could get some work done.’

I realize now, that their needs WERE my work.

Now that I’m a full-time stay at home mom (for all intents and purposes because I only work about 10 hours a week), I’m realizing that those little people, my husband, those in my sphere of influence – their needs are my work.

Whatever I can do to make their lives smoother…that is my ‘job.’ And it’s certainly a full-time one, at that.

We were not made to do life alone. We were made to be in relationship with others…to go through life with our tribe by our side.

My outlook needs to change. The landscape in my life and in the lives of those around me is changing.

I’ve never been one to welcome an interruption, particularly when I’m eyeball deep in thought or task. However, I can learn from Jesus the proper response to interruptions.

In Matthew 14, we learn that John the Baptist was beheaded. When Jesus learns of this news, ‘he left in a boat to a remote area to be alone. But the crowds heard where he was headed and followed on foot from many towns.’

Jesus wanted to get away.

He left. On a boat. To a remote area. To be alone.

All of these phrases indicate that he didn’t want to be bothered.

And yet, we read in the next verse, ‘Jesus saw the huge crowd as he stepped from the boat, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.’

Jesus saw.

He had compassion on them.

And healed their sick.

You know what’s coming next, right? This is the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand with five loaves of bread and two fish. He just learned that the head of his BFF was delivered on a silver platter to a snotty little girl who wanted it as a birthday wish. Seriously?

This news was delivered to Him and He wanted to mourn. Alone. On a boat.

But He saw the people and He knew His mourning would have to wait. His needs would take a back-seat to those He had compassion on.

This is the example I am to follow.

Will I succeed every time? No.

Will I screw it up royally on occasion? You betcha.

Will I have to apologize and ask for forgiveness from those closest to me? Absolutely.

Will my family and friends remember that I gave them my very best? Yes and no.

Will I feel better knowing that I poured myself and my life into my loved ones? Without a doubt.

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Link-Ups, Soul Relationships

Perceptions

Michelle

As I was driving today, I was mindlessly flipping through the radio stations and I stumbled upon the song “Harper Valley PTA.” I knew I had heard the song before, but it had been a while. I missed the first part of it, but tuned in just to hear the words, ‘they were surprised when Miss Johnson wore her mini-skirt into the room.’

I continued to listen to the song and the lyrics and noted that the song was from the ’60s. (I love it when Sirius tells me when the song came out.) It occurred to me that the lyrics describing the situation then aren’t too different from situations nowadays.

I was intrigued enough about the full song to Google the lyrics. Here is what I found:

I wanna tell you all a story ’bout a Harper Valley widowed wife,
Who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High,
Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn’t even stop to play,
And she said, “Mom I got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA.”

Well the note said, “Mrs. Johnson, you’re wearing your dresses way too high.
It’s reported you’ve been drinkin’ and runnin’ round with men and goin’ wild.
And we don’t believe you oughta be a bringin’ up your little girl this way.”
And it was signed by the secretary, Harper Valley PTA.

Well it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon.
And they were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson wore her mini-skirt into the room.
And as she walked up to the black board, I still recall the words she had to say.
She said, “I’d like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA.

Well, there’s Bobby Taylor sittin’ there, and seven times he’s asked me for a date.
And Mrs. Taylor seems to use alotta ice, whenever he’s away.
And Mr. Baker can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn’t widow Jones be told to keep her window shades a pulled completely down.

Well Mr. Harper couldn’t be here cause he stayed too long at Kelly’s Bar again.
And if you smell Shirley Thompson’s breath you’ll find she’s had a little nip of gin.
And then you have the nerve to tell me, you think that as a mother I’m not fit.
Well this is just a little Peyton Place, and you’re all Harper Valley hypocrites.”

No, I wouldn’t put you on because, it really did happen just this way.
The day my momma socked it to, the Harper Valley PTA.
The day my momma socked it to, the Harper Valley PTA

And it got me thinking…isn’t this how we all can be? We can be more critical of others than ourselves. We can judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. We can ignore the plank in our own eye and focus on the sawdust in others’ eyes.

I’m not sure what it will take for us to take an honest look at ourselves…to look at ourselves in a spiritual mirror.

I hear this in my kids…I am guilty of this with my husband or my family…

When my son or daughter offends the other, I hear one say, “Well, that’s not what I meant,” and then the offended party retorts, “Well, that’s how it felt.”

See what they did? The offender measures their intent and the offended measures the offender’s actions.

We are all guilty of saying, “Well, look at Miss Johnson’s short mini-skirt, but pay no attention to the nip(s) of gin I’ve had.”

This may seem like an odd place to tie this in, but I’m struggling with the word God has for me for 2016. I’ve toyed with all of these: brave, courageous, still, peace, and now trust. While all of these are good in and of themselves, I can’t possibly try to focus on ALL of these for 2016. So, what about choosing one that encompasses them all?

Focus…

It takes focus to be brave…it takes focus to be courageous…it takes focus to be still and have peace…it takes laser-like focus and intention to trust.

It takes focus to not judge others…but if I do slip into that old pattern, then it takes focus to look at their intentions and not always focusing on their actions.

 Intentions vs Actions

See, a while back, I was reading “Love and Respect” by Doctor Emerson Eggerichs. One of the ideas he discusses in the book is to look at the other party’s intentions before reacting. The way he suggests doing this is to ask yourself if the offender has general ‘good will’ toward you. See, if I know that my husband generally wishes me well and doesn’t want to hurt me, then I can more rationally determine whether he meant to hurt me or not. Most times, his intention isn’t to hurt me, but there’s a general miscommunication happening based on our perceptions.

Merriam-Webster defines perception as: the way you think about or understand something or someone. Our perceptions are based largely on what has happened to us and how we have reacted to it. Two people can go through the exact same situation and handle it differently…because of their backgrounds and what they’ve been through in the past.

We are all unique and we all deserve the same grace.

Kids/Parenting, My 'Farm'

It’s ALIVE!!!!

Michelle

This post was originally published on April 25, 2014…

Ok, y’all need to get comfy…I’m about to tell you a most interesting story…got your coffee, water, tea, or soda ready? Are you snuggled in with a cozy blanket? Ok, here we go…

Tonight Elijah had baseball practice. Emma and I dropped him off at the ball field and went to Sam’s Club. I’m watching my time, in order to get back to get him around 7:30. We get him picked up, and head home about 8:15. This is where it gets good.
For those of you who haven’t been to my house, the master bathroom window overlooks the back of my yard and my neighbor’s back yard. I walked in my bathroom and happened to look out. In the distance, I saw one of our chickens…the kicker is, it looked like it was on the OTHER side of the fence (in my neighbor’s back yard).
So, I stroll outside to investigate. Sure enough, the chicken was frantically pacing along the fence line, trying to determine how it got itself into this predicament and how to get itself out. I could see the worry in her face, as she could see her friends, but couldn’t get to them. I can only imagine what was going through her little chicken brain.
I gather the kids and head over to the neighbor’s to try to corral this chicken and return it to our coop. A few of my chickens will allow me to pick them up; this was not one of them. I know in my mind that this is not going to be an easy task. With each step I take, I’m rehearsing the kabillion ways this could go.
The kids and I get to the same side of the fence as the chicken, and I’m trying to slowly approach her, in the hopes that she *might* allow me to just pick her up and toss her over the fence. She sees me coming and scurries in the opposite direction.
I ask Emma to hold the gate open, thinking if I can slowly walk alongside her, with the fence on the other side of her, we might be able to just walk her right out of the yard. Naturally, she ends up in a corner, not at all interested in my plan.
After this dance goes on for about 10 minutes, Emma finally yells to Elijah for him to hold the gate and she can help me. See, she and I have done this trick before when we’re trying to get the chickens in their run. Elijah begins to hold the gate, but not before a 5 minute dissertation from Emma on how it should be done.
A couple of times, the chicken gets within arms reach of me. I’m able to grasp out for her, but she’s very elusive and escapes my advances. At this point, I’m beginning to feel a little Jerry McGuire-ish, in saying to her, “Help me help you. Listen up chicken, I know you want to be with your other little chicken friends, but you gotta work with me here.”
Clearly, I did not have all my wits about me…trying to reason and rationalize with a chicken. Not one of my finer moments.
At this point, both kids end up at the gate to the yard and we’re all very discouraged. I begin brainstorming other ideas to attempt to save this hen from it’s fate of being separated from her sisters, when all of a sudden, the kids begin screaming, “HERE COME THEIR DOGS! MOMMA, THEIR DOGS ARE COMING!!”
Having lost a few of my chickens to the neighbor’s dogs in the past, we KNOW that they will attack the chicken in a heartbeat.
At first the kids were able to distract the dogs by having them come to them. But as soon as one of the dogs catches a whiff of the chicken, he’s gone! In an instant, the dog was at the chicken, grabbing it by its neck and dragging it through the yard.
I immediately heard wailing from Emma and Elijah because they LOVE these chickens. I tried to stop the dog, but had no luck. Pretty soon, the chicken was laying in the yard in a heap. My adrenaline was slowly beginning to decline, and I was now faced with the task of calming the kids down and explaining to them that the chicken somehow made it to the other side of the fence, and that this result was a very real possibility.
Emma and I began walking what felt like a trail of death back to the house; Elijah was already there. They were both in hysterics.
I was taking the time to explain to them that this is what happens, and that our dogs are pretty much the exception to the rule that dogs like to play with and kill chickens. I was mid-sentence when Elijah shouts so loudly that I’m sure people in the next county could hear him, “IT’S ALIVE!!!! OH MOMMA, IT’S ALIVE!!! LOOK!!!”
I turn to look and as sure as I’m sitting here now, that chicken got up, shrugged her wings, and walked away from a pile of feathers that I just knew would be the final resting place of that poor girl.
I quickly tell Emma to run to the house and ask the neighbors not to let the dogs out; that the chicken is alive and we’re going to try to get it.
I make my way back over to the other side of the fence, and again, we are playing this little cat-and-mouse game in which the chicken gets just close enough for me to catch it…if I took a nose-dive…and then runs off.
Have I mentioned HOW FAST chickens are when they are running?!?!? (Obviously not fast enough to outrun a boxer, though!)
By a stroke of sheer luck, I catch the chicken and, quite literally, toss the darn thing over the fence.
At this point, I’m ready for a stiff drink! All of this excitement is more than I can handle!
I begin walking back to the yard, after a successful search-and-rescue mission, and Elijah says, “It’s a miracle! I just knew that God would save that chicken!!”
Oh to have the faith of a child again…
Stay tuned for further antics from my chickens! (Even though the blog says 13 chickens, I actually have 8 chickens, and 11 pullets, which are like female teenage chickens…and they’re not even as much trouble as the grown ones!!!)
I’m gonna go fix that drink now…enjoy your evening/day/afternoon, whatever time it is when you’re reading this.