Kids/Parenting, My 'Farm', Random, Series

Day 9 – Join

I have to say that this writing challenge has truly challenged me in some really great ways. I’ve stretched myself to a place I’ve not been before. To a place where I’m forcing myself to write just for the sake of writing.

The prompt for day 9 is: Join.

It catches me by surprise this morning when I step outside that fall has joined us. As I make the trek to the chicken coop, I traipse through damp leaves that have fallen softly from the trees.

I feel the cool, crisp air tenderly touch my cheeks, and as I exhale, I can see my warm breath.

Where has the year gone that fall has made it’s arrival so silently? Like a thief in the night steals, summer has been snatched from our grasp.

And just as the days and the years quickly tick by, the fall of my children’s lives joins me.

How one day, I open the door to my life and it shocks my system to find I have a 9-year old and a 7-year old. She has less than 2 years left in her elementary school days.

Less than 2 years and she will join the ranks of middle-schoolers where life takes on a new level of complexity.

And him…my baby…is not a baby any more. He has joined the thousands of boys that have gone before him into the land of no more hugs and kisses for their mamas.

Oh dear, sweet children…how can I slow time down? How can I learn to join you in this moment?

Help me to appreciate the cool, crisp air of the fall now; before the cold, sharp air of the winter blasts me in the face and chills me to the bone. Because it will be here all too soon.

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Series

Day 7 – Go

Well…I’m a couple days behind…but that’s better than I expected to be doing with this challenge.

The word prompt for the 7th day is: Go.

Some days I just want to go. To get away from it all. To wander away from it all. If only for a moment.

I want to go somewhere that I’m not a single mom trying to do it all for everyone.

And the kicker is that I enjoy doing things for others. Alas, it seems like I am in a quandary in which what I love also brings me frustration.

I want to go. Where the sun meets the horizon and illuminates nature.

I want to go. Where the sea goes on forever and there is no end in sight.

I want to go. Where the animals roam freely in the wilderness.

I want to go. Where the monkeys swing freely from the trees and the smell of fresh rain permeates the air.

But for now, I will go where I’m needed the most. To tend and care for the two precious gems that God gave me to be steward over.

Until next time when I can daydream and go to remote locations in my mind.

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Series

Days 5 and 6 – Stuck and Know

I’m combining days 5 & 6 in the writing challenge. Partially because I’m behind but also because with what I have to say, they kinda go together.

Day 5 is Stuck and Day 6 is Know.

I’m stuck. I’m literally stuck between a rock and a hard place and I know the only thing that will get me out of it is the rough knees that result from fervent prayer.

How do I attempt to explain to her that he isn’t interested in fighting for her…that he’s not capable of fighting for her the way she deserves to be fought for…that there’s a reason that God hasn’t allowed him to come back…

How do I continue to look deep into those wise eyes, that have already been exposed to more than she should have at this young age? How do I make her understand that I know, all too well, the rejection that she’s feeling?

How do I get unstuck from this place and help her get to a place where she knows she is loved, valued, treasured, cherished and a true princess?

How do I help her to understand that the sunshine and roses and unicorns and rainbows that she feels covers the lives of so many other people are also available to her…if she would only believe and know…that He loves her infinitely more than she could ever imagine.

How do I remind her of the song in her heart when she has forgotten the tune…and doesn’t want to recall it?

How do I help her to see and know that they’re not all the same…despite the fact that sometimes even I feel that way?

I’m asking more questions than I’m getting answers to here, folks. I suppose it’s time to turn it over to the man upstairs. It’s time to work on those raw, chafed knees. Better those than a raw, chafed heart.

His Word, Kids/Parenting

Day 2 – View

Well, I’m back for day 2 of the 31 day writing challenge. I’m only on the second day and already I’m feeling the pinch of this challenge. But, it’s a good feeling because it means I’m stepping out of my comfort zone.

Today’s prompt is: View.

I wonder how I’m shaping their view. Particularly hers.

How is what I’m doing, saying, and feeling being portrayed to their little influential minds? Am I shaping their minds and their views for the better?

Am I helping them to view the world in a realistic, and yet positive manner?

Through my actions, and hopefully my heart, I desire to demonstrate servant hood, Jesus-style.

So, when I make that extra meal for another family, do they see my view? That sometimes the need extends beyond our front door.

When I explain that not everyone learns at the same pace, do they see my view? That sometimes people have their own set of challenges, but that doesn’t make them any less worthy of our love or respect?

Am I helping to color their world-view in such a manner that they will make a difference? Not just in worldly ‘big’ ways, but in Jesus-style small ways? In the daily details.

His Word, Kids/Parenting, Random, Soul Relationships

Still…

There is something about this time of year that makes me want to pull back – to retract into myself and reflect. Be introspective. Become like a bear and begin my preparations to hunker down and hibernate for the winter season.

It’s seasons like this in which I begin to analyze my relationships – with everyone from God to my kids.

I look at the activities I’m involved in and those my kids are involved in. I reflect on what I’ve accomplished this year, and what, if anything still needs completed.

So far:

  • I’ve read 16 books of my goal of 24 for the year.
  • I had a HUGE purging/organizing session in July. My home feels better and I feel a *little* more organized.
  • I still have my daughter’s closet to purge/organize {let’s be real, this may wait until she’s out of the house!}
  • I still need to get a blogging schedule established.
  • I still need to follow said schedule.
  • I’ve completed, I dunno, somewhere between 4-6 Hello Mornings bible studies.
  • I still need to finish my Bible in a Year plan. {I’m about 5 months behind on that one!}
  • I still need to learn to lean into His grace and accept when I can’t mark things off of my ‘To Do’ list.
  • My kids are in AWESOME classes this school year.
  • Elijah is crazy improving in baseball this year, due to an amazing coach!
  • Emma actually decided to give softball a chance, and she’s not half bad! {which is a total shock to my system!}

But the biggest thing that I have yet to cross off my ever growing task list can be found in one of my favorite Bible verses…Psalm 46:10a, “Be still and know that I am God.”

My absolute favorite version of this verse is in the NASB version. It reads:

“Cease striving and know that I am God.”

Cease striving…REALLY?

Dictionary.com defines cease this way: “to stop; discontinue.”

Dictionary.com defines striving this way: “to exert oneself vigorously; try hard.”

So, basically what I’m telling you is that I can’t. stop. trying. hard.

I can’t stop exerting myself…to please others…to accomplish more…to be more involved…to cross things off of my list.

To just BE STILL

I am Type A all the way.

This is something that God will need to do a miraculous work within me to accomplish. But He is faithful. He is good. He is just. He is love.

And thankfully, He will accept me just the way I am. But, by His grace, He loves me too much to leave me that way.

So, as I enter into this season of my life, of this year, please pray with me that He will continue to do a good work in me. That I will learn to lean into His grace. Into His rest.

Jesus tells us we can, “come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” {Matthew 11:28-30}.

And that I can just be. still.